Sunday, February 28, 2010

Funny Face...

We hope you have a blessed Sunday!

Love to all,

Saturday, February 27, 2010


It's Saturday afternoon. My house is quiet. Amelia is snuggled in my bed taking a nap and Alex is at the office. I tried to sleep in this morning, but couldn't. My head was killing me, so I made my way to the kitchen for a cup of the strongest coffee I could stand. It worked. Head is feeling better.

I haven't touched my blog in almost a week. I would sit down and try to write and each time it led to me closing my computer and walking away.

It has been a hard week. An emotional week. I'm tired. I feel like I have nothing to give. It's not something that I will share right now, but it involves change. Why is that word so scary?

I guess because I feel so out of control.

*cue God laughing*

You would think after 33 years of life, I would have figured out that I've never been in control.

I'm a slow learner.

Things in Alex's and my life are changing in a couple of different areas. It's something that I have to give back to God every few minutes. Not every day. Not every hour. Every few minutes. I know God has a plan and I know it's perfect. I truly believe that. Sometimes I just wish that I had a "God-phone" that I could pick up and talk directly to Him. Ask Him what's up...what's the plan, Stan? Uh, I mean God.

Oh wait.

So we do have a direct line, you say?


I'm a slow-learner.

To be surrounded by so many people, I've felt more alone this week than I've ever felt in my life. I think the words, "I just feel so alone" have come out of my mouth at least a dozen times. There is something particular that I've been praying for and have asked those that I'm closest, to pray for as well. I was sharing my heart with my Momma this morning through email and once again shared this certain want/need that I have. Something that I've been asking (more like begging) Him to bless me with. She wrote, "Maybe He is wanting you to lean especially on Him."

The song, Hungry (Falling On My Knees) by Joy Williams came to mind immediately. I stuck it in the cd player and turned it up.

I cried.

I sang.

And then I cried some more.

Hungry I come to You
For I know You satisfy
I am empty but I know
Your love does not run dry
So I wait for You
So I wait for You

I'm falling on my knees
Offering all of me
Jesus You're all
This heart is living for

Broken I run to You
For Your arms are open wide
I am weary but I know Your touch
Restores my life
So I wait for You
So I wait for You

I have been asked to wait before. I was asked to wait for 3 years to have my precious Amelia. God told me over and over, "wait - it's not your turn."

So here I am. Waiting. Doing my best to stay so close to Him that I'll have no doubt what He's saying when He speaks.

Speak Lord.


Monday, February 22, 2010

All About Amelia - 4 months!

Amelia, you're 4 months old!!

Each month just seems to go by faster and faster.

I need you to stop growing.

No. Seriously. Stop growing. All of your pants are getting too short.

You spent your first night in a hotel this month.

You loved it!

You slept really well. I don't know how though - that crib mattress was hard as a rock.

You're okay with tummy-time - but only for a few minutes. You haven't started trying to roll over yet, but we know you will in your own time. :)

You're holding your head up like a champ! We're going to buy a bumbo seat soon and see how you like it.

You wearing size 1 diapers and size 3-6 month clothes.

You love for people to talk to you, so you can flash them your beautiful, gummy-smile.

You are so ticklish - from head to toe.

You love to laugh.

You smack your lips all of the time now and when we make a clicking sound with our tongue - you copy us. It's so cute!

No clue how much you weigh now (we go to your 4-month appointment March 9th!) I do know that carrying you in your car seat is about to break Mommy's back! :)

You still eat 6 ounces every 4 hours during the day.

You are sleeping at least 7 hours at night.

You take at least two good naps during the day!

You love the TV. I've started playing your praise baby dvds and you LOVE them.

We've started taking big girl baths in the bathtub. You like this a lot better than Mommy's sponge baths!

You're our pretty princess.

You have the crown to prove it.

We love you, Amelia. We thank God every day for choosing us to be your parents!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Who is that in the mirror?

This was me before we started trying to conceive (almost 4 years ago).

As soon as we started fertility treatments, I could see a change in my body.

Little by little...the extra pounds on the scale started to appear.

After over 2 years of fertility treatments and a very hard pregnancy, I find myself overweight. I look in the mirror and think to myself, "who is that?" Only one other time in my life, have I ever found myself feeling this way about my body.

I do want to say that this little girl was worth every extra pound. :)

I also want to say that I know it has only been 4 months since having Amelia. I realize weight loss takes time...BUT I also know that I have to do something to lose the rest of this weight. My goal is lose 50 lbs.

Yes, I said 50 lbs.

I have started a product called Zija. It's an all-natural product. Made up of a plant called Moringa. Every heard of it? A friend of mine started taking it for her fibromyalgia. Not only can her husband wrap his arms around her again, without her being in pain, she has also lost 27 lbs (since Nov 09). I'm not only taking the Zija, but I'm also starting back with my pilates and boxing.

I have one of these in my garage and he's just waiting for me to come hit him in the face every day. LOL

Say a prayer for me...that I'll stick with it and that I'll see results! This is day 3 of being on the Zija and I've lost 4 pounds. I'm excited to get back in shape and to feel good in my clothes again. Oh to be in my normal size clothes again!! :)

I'll be doing updates on my weight loss (will try to do one every week). So hopefully, you'll see my double-chin disappear before your very eyes! HA!

Love to all,

Saturday, February 20, 2010

We love to laugh...

Nothing makes my heart feel better than to hear this. I have no idea what was so funny. It was a long day and I honestly think Amelia was slap-happy (she gets that from her Mommy). I love to laugh and it looks like my girl does too!

We have spent the day watching Hallmark movies and are about to go to Fresh Market to pick up some groceries. Just a laid back Saturday. I hope you're having a wonderful weekend!

Love to all,

Friday, February 19, 2010

We have a winner!!

Thanks to everyone who entered the cookie cutter giveaway! I loved all of your ideas of how you would use them. I just might have to use some of those ideas myself! :) chose the winner of these cookie cutters to be...

#11 - LEAH!!!

Congratulations, Leah!! Please click on the email button on my left sidebar and send me your contact info. Can't wait to get these to you, so you can get to baking!!

Check for my next giveaway in March!

Have a great weekend everyone.

Love to all,

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Amelia's Birth Story...

10/20/2009 - 11:30 AM
Mommy called to tell me that she was leaving her doctor's appointment and going straight to the hospital because her blood pressure was too high. Dr. Simmons said she was a classic case of preeclampsia. I left work immediately and called her back from my truck in route to the hospital. I wanted to reassure her that everything would be ok. In my mind, I knew that they don't tell you to check-in to L&D immediately, unless you or Mommy's health were at risk. It was 5 weeks early. Then I called Nana to let her know what was going on. That's when the reality hits me that I could lose my wife and daughter. My heart seemed to stop beating, and I told Nana that I was scared and need her to pray for me. After hanging up the phone with Nana, I prayed and God told me that He's got everything under control, my nerves settled some...

11:45 AM
I showed up at L&D and Mommy wasn't in her room, I got to it before she did. She started to cry when she walked in...she told me that it wasn't time. I reminded her that we didn't have control over the timing, it was in God's hands. They had her put on a gown and hooked her up to monitors, so they could watch you both.

Mommy was very upset about not being ready. Our bags weren't packed and your room wasn't ready. Dr. Simmons had said that she would probably deliver sometime the next afternoon (10/21/09). Mommy was having measurable contractions when the monitor was put on her. Your vitals looked good, and I started to understand that you were fine. But Mommy was not okay. Her blood pressure was in the 160/110 range. The Doctor put her on potassium and also magnesium sulfate. Your Daddygrand was having surgery that day, so Nana left him with Aunt Alicia and came to be with us. Your Papa & Granny were on their way.

2:00 PM
The Doctor tells us that they will start Mommy on labor inducing medicine at 1:00 AM in the morning, and that she will get an increased dose every 6 hours. This was to speed the process up, and counter act the magnesium sulfate. We were expecting you to be born around 2:00 PM on 10/21/2009. The Doctors said that Mommy couldn't have any thing going on that would stimulate her blood pressure. No TV, no phone, no loud visitors, etc.

4:00 PM
Papa and Granny arrived from Osceola.

Your Mommy was happy to see her Momma!

She was very uncomfortable...the magnesium was making her very hot. We turned the temperature in the room down to around 60. Most visitors covered up with blankets because of how cold the room was being kept.

The rest of the afternoon was relatively uneventful. I learned how to read and understand the monitors that Mommy was connected to.

The nurses taking care of your Mommy were great. They made sure to tell us that you were far enough along to be healthy, but would still need help breathing. We expected you to spend a little time in the NICU, but didn't think that it would be more than a day. When we asked how you would look, one of the nurses said you would be fine and wouldn't look like a "squirrel." reassuring?

8:00 PM
Aunt Joy, Aunt Sara & Uncle Cary went by our house and brought some clothes and things that we would need to stay overnight. We thought we would be there for 3-4 days.

11:00 PM
I remember being very tired, but not being able to sleep. I just couldn't get my mind to shut down, one minute I would think "I am really going to be a Daddy." The next minute I would wonder if you and Mommy were going to be okay.

10/21/2009 - 1:00 AM
The nurse came in and started Mommy on the medicine to speed up labor. They expected it to take about 12 hours for you to be born. Most of the time I would encourage Mommy to sleep, and watch your heartbeat on the monitor. The nurse told me that the magnesium could make it hard for you to breathe once you were born, but that the NICU nurses would take good care of you.

6:00 AM
Dr. Simmons came in and looked at Mommy. He said that she was dilated to 2-3cm and making progress. At this point, everything looked on schedule for you to deliver that afternoon.

7:00 AM
The nurse came in and gave Mommy the next round of medicine to speed up labor. Most of the morning went by slow, Mommy was starting to feel more intense contractions. I could tell that she was exhausted, but she wanted to know that you were alright and couldn't really sleep. The medicine that she was on, made her muscles slow to respond to what her mind was telling them to do.

1:00 PM
Mommy wasn't making any major progress so they gave here more medicine to speed things up. Her oxygen levels started to drop, so they put a mask on her to help her breathe. The effects of the medicine were taking their toll on her. Mommy kept wanting to take the oxygen mask off her face. I figured out very quickly that all I had to do was tell her YOU needed her to wear the oxygen mask and she would keep it on. :) Even though I could see your heart beat on the monitor, I wondered how the medicine Mommy was on would affect you. The contractions started coming more regularly, and Mommy had to really start breathing through them.

2:00 PM
The Doctor came in and tried unsuccessfully to break Mommy's water. OUCH!!!!!!!! She screamed (not too loud) and it made everyone wince in pain - including the Doctor. I thought that she was going to break the bones in my hand because she squeezed it so hard. The Doctor said that as long as your vitals were good, and Mommy was stable and up for it, she could keep trying to deliver normally. Your Mommy was very tough and brave, and said that she would keep trying. Soon after, Mommy's blood pressure got very high and she started having little seizures. The nurse asked everyone (but me) to step out of the room. When they did, she buried her head in my shoulder and cried. I could tell that the medicine and pain were taking their toll on her, but she pressed on. I was starting to get very concerned that she might have a full seizure or stroke, the thoughts of losing her and you came flooding back to my mind. The nurse kept the room very dark and told me that I could just sit and hold Mommy's hand - she finally fell asleep.

4:00 PM
I spent the afternoon and early evening sitting between Mommy's bed and the monitors, holding her hand and praying that everything would be ok. I knew that God told me it would be okay, but looking at her lying in that hospital bed with all of the IV's and monitors, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. The Doctor came in and gave Mommy an epidural and said that she needed to sit up in the bed to keep it working. While she was sitting up the Doctor decided that Mommy would need to lay back because sitting up raised her blood pressure to dangerous levels. For a while, it gave Mommy some relief of the contraction pain. All of your family was out in the waiting room. Your Papa asked Dr. Simmons how you and Mommy were doing, he said that you were fine, but that Mommy was "very sick." At this point, he didn't find a c-section to be in your Mommy's best interest because she was so sick. So we wait.

8:00 PM
That evening, Granny, Nana, Aunt Alicia and Aunt Joy, came back in the room. They knew that Mommy wasn't doing well, and were worried because they had been sitting out in the waiting room since the nurse asked them to leave. We took turns holding her hand as she had contractions and trying to help her breathe. Dr. Simmons had come by and said that Mommy was making more progress and that she had dilated more so she kept trying to have a normal delivery. Dr. Breniman was now on duty, and would more than likely be the delivering physician.

10:00 PM
Mommy's epidural wasn't working. She was in major pain and had dangerously high blood pressure at this point. Mommy could not only feel all of the contractions, but also the effects of the other medicines that she was taking, and the lack of sleep. For the next two hours, we started considering having a c-section. Mommy didn't want to, but your and her health were at risk. The medicines that she was taking would also have an affect on you after a while, so she couldn't stay on them for much longer.

10/22/2009 - 12:15 AM
Mommy and I talked and we felt like it would be best to have the c-section. Her blood pressure had been as high as (187/136) and I was worried that she might have a stroke. I knew that they could do a c-section very quickly. I wanted you to be here and for Mommy to be stabilized.

Granny and I started putting on our clothes so that we could go in while they did the surgery.
I was starting to lose it, I hadn't had any sleep in over 43 hours and all of the circumstances were taking their toll on me.
Granny and I walked with Mommy, the Doctor, and the nurses, to the OR.

Granny and I had to wait outside on a bench until they had Mommy ready. Daddygrand came over to pray with me and give me a hug.

We sat on the bench for about 30 minutes, but it seemed like 30 days.

A couple of times the code blue alarm went off, and I couldn't help but wonder if it was your Mommy. As I sat there, it felt like my heart never made a beat, all I could do was pray that everything would be ok. Granny was talking 90-to-nothing (which is not like her at all) so I knew that she must be just a nervous as me. I couldn't talk at all.

10/22/2009 - 12:45 AM
Finally, the nurse came and got us and led us into the OR. Granny sat down right by Mommy's head, and I sat down where I could hold her hand.

I could see everything that was going on and even though I understood the procedure, I was still in shock at the violent nature of a c-section. Your Mommy was conscious (but out of it). Your Granny and I tried to explain what was going on during the c-section.

1:01 AM
Dr. Breniman delivered you on October 22nd, 2009 at 1:01am. You were not making any noise or moving.

You were very blue. I thought I was prepared to see you like that, but I wasn't. I knew what God had told me, so when Mommy asked how you were, I said that you were fine. They started a count of how long you went without oxygen. My world seemed to stop turning. Although it was only seconds before they put a breathing tube down you throat and got you oxygen, it felt like years. I finally saw your foot move, and it gave me a sense of relief. But you never cried. Your first Apgar score was a 5. Once they had the tube in, the NICU nurses took you straight to the NICU, and all Mommy and Granny got was a glimpse of you. I noticed that your face had started turning red and that you were moving a little as the nurse went by. Granny and I stayed with Mommy and followed her back to the room.

2:00 AM
Once I knew for sure that your Mommy was ok, Nana and I came to see you in the NICU. You were so tiny. I was afraid to touch you because you had so many wires attached to you.

They had already removed the breathing tube and you just had a cannula under your nose to supplement your oxygen. The NICU Doctor said that you were fine. I wanted to hold you, but couldn't. That would come later.

4:00 AM
Mommy and I were back in the L&D room alone, she was sound asleep and you were doing great. My heart was very full and my world was at peace. I could rest.

6:30 AM
"ALEX", "ALEX" - the sound of Mommy yelling my name jolted me to my feet without hardly even waking up, and I jumped toward her bed. I couldn't imagine what could be so wrong that she would wake up yelling my name, and where was the nurse? Why wasn't she already tending to whatever was wrong? Much to my surprise, Mommy points to the floor by the supplies room, I see Aunt Elaina lying on the floor unconscious. Mommy tells me she passed out. I get down to check her pulse and she starts to come she sees my face she gets startled. I told her where she was and what had happened. Soon after, Andrew comes in with the nurse and she checks Aunt E out and gives her some juice to drink - they told her it was probably her blood sugar.

7:30 AM
Once we knew for sure that Aunt E was ok, she and Uncle Andrew left. I decided that it would be best to limit the visitors for the day, and try to get rested. We went back to sleep, ever so cautiously. :)

1:00 PM
Mommy was doing much better and her blood pressure was under control, so they said we could move to a normal room. On the way from L&D to Postpartum, the nurse took us by the NICU to see you. They rolled Mommy's bed right into your NICU room.

It was the first time that Mommy had been able to see or touch you, since they rushed you by in the OR. We smiled, laughed, and cried all at the same time. You spent 6 days in the NICU. You were one of the bigger babies there (5 lbs - 2 ounces). The nurses loved to hold you. You were a little bundle of joy, Amelia Joy. You're an answered prayer, fulfilled promise, and a wonderful blessing from God. Sweet child, you will never know how much we love you until you look into the face of your own first born.

I love you with all of my heart,

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

February Giveaway!!

Hi sweet friends!

I've been looking forward to this giveaway - it has to do with something that I really enjoy. BAKING!!

I ♥ Williams Sonoma. It's the one store that I can take my husband and he will shop just as long as me. There's also something really weird that happens to my brain in that store...

As soon as I walk through the door....spending $4000 on a set of knives seems totally normal.

I saw these in the store and told Alex, "I have to have these!!"

And he said...


So I bought them and used them and loved them and knew that I had to give a set away in February!

A set of Message-in-a-Cookie Cutters!

They are so easy to use...

And you can put ANY MESSAGE you want on a cookie! How cute are these!?

I've used these a few times for baby showers and they were a hit! I know mine don't look like the picture above, but I bet they tasted better. ha!

If you would like a chance to win a set of these fun cookie cutters, simply leave a comment telling me WHO you would make cookies for and WHAT message you would put on them. :) will choose a winner on Friday morning, February 19th!

(as soon as Amelia has downed her 1st bottle and I've had my 1st cup of coffee!)

**If you would like two entries in this giveaway - blog about it and leave me a separate comment, letting me know that you did so.**

Love to all,