She chose HIM over ME...

So there was a big football game on last night. We watched the Super Bowl from home. Alex watched all of it. I watched between doing laundry, picking up dinner, stuff like that.

I really just wanted to see the commercials. There were a few funny ones and a couple that almost made me cry!

What can I say...I'm pregnant...I cry a lot.

Amelia wasn't that into the Super Bowl. She played and watched Caillou on the ipad.



She WAS into the dessert I made though. My friend, Susy, posted a picture of brownies right before the game and I immediately had a craving for them. We topped our hot Ghirardelli brownies with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and fresh strawberries. SO YUMMY.



So like I said earlier...I'm pregnant...I cry a lot.

And my 2 year old totally made me cry last night.

I was leaving to pick up the pizza for dinner and asked her to come with me. She immediately responded, "no, I don't want to go, I want to stay with my Daddy."

I was like, "what?"

So I asked her again, assuming she didn't understand my question.

She responded, "no, I want to stay here with my Daddy."

I proceeded to ask her 20 more times and she made it quite clear that she didn't want to go. Alex tried to make me feel better by saying, "it's okay, she does that to me all the time."

I was like, "exactly, she does this to YOU...she always chooses ME."

I left with tears in my eyes. It was like she took her tiny, toddler hand and slapped me in the face.

Alex quickly sent me a text that she was asking for me as soon as I left and he also sent me a video of her saying, "I want my Mommy."

Not sure how many M&M's it took to make her say it - but it made me feel better. :)



And I just have to share what I walked in on her doing last night.

Me: "Whatcha doing Amelia?"

Amelia: "I cookin' my baby."

I explained that we don't cook our babies and asked her to remove it from the microwave immediately, but not before taking a picture. All while trying to keep a straight face. I left the room laughing so hard.

Looks like we'll be starting therapy a little sooner than I thought.

Crazy kid.



She totally made up for making me cry this morning though. While watching Super Why she reached over to hold my hand.

Melt my heart.

I love her so much.

Happy Monday!

Love to all,

The Voice...

I'm a stay-at-home Mom and I love it. I'm thankful God has allowed me to be home with our children. I know this is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing and there's peace in that, but one of the things I've been struggling with over the past few months is this little voice in my head. It's saying things like: "Am I doing enough with Amelia?" "Is she bored??" "She needs to be around other children on a regular basis." "Should I put her in MDO??" "What about Little Gym??" "Art classes would be good!!"

Bless Alex's heart, I'm sure he's tired of me talking about these things and he has been so patient with me as I have prayed and talked and talked and prayed and finally realized what God has been trying to tell me in all of this.

I'm a homebody and really enjoy just being here at the house with Amelia. We can go a full week without going anywhere. That's why a tank of gas will last over 2 weeks in my car. I have zero desire to fill up a calendar with social events for my 2 year old. I'm not huge on regular play dates, not that there's anything wrong with them, I just don't like to commit to being at play dates twice a week or even once a week. We have commitments to our church twice a week and she gets to play with other children at that time, but "the voice" came to a point of really getting on my nerves and I needed to take care of it.

I've looked into taking her to The Little Gym or to art classes or to ballet and everything I've looked into tells me she's too young. Three years old seems to be the age all that starts. Little Gym takes younger kiddos but the parent has to be right there and able to run and chase them.

I'm 8 weeks from having a baby - no one wants to see me chasing after my toddler right now.

After reading THIS BLOG, which has been such a blessing to me as a pastor's wife, I realized that there's nothing wrong with spending more time at home. There's nothing wrong with my child not being involved in numerous activities outside of the home. There's nothing wrong with just being still. Being quiet.

God's Word actually encourages it.

I say to Amelia a lot, "be still." I say this because I'm trying to get her to be still long enough for me to speak to her and her actually hear what I'm saying.

I've always said that I have my most meaningful conversations with my Heavenly Father when I'm in the car or in the shower...times that I have to be still. Those quiet moments where Dora the Explorer isn't in the background...Amelia isn't saying, "Mommy, I want jello!"...my phone isn't ringing...my computer isn't in front of my face...and on and on and on.

It's so easy to look at others and feel like I'm not doing enough with my child. I'm not keeping her busy enough. Truth is, I don't want to keep her busy for the sake of saying our calendar is full, or to give myself a certain amount of "free-time" every day. She really needs time with me and her Daddy more than anyone else right now. The next 16-18 years are some important ones and though I do hope to see my little girls in a sweet tutu and ballet shoes someday, bi-weekly play dates, ballet classes, and mothers-day-out are not what will shape my children into what I pray they will be one day.

Young women who can be still.
Young women who can be quiet.
Young women who can hear God and truly KNOW WHO HE IS.
Young women who could care less what the world says is important.
Young women who are sold out for Jesus and make others want what they have in HIM.

That's what I pray over Amelia and Sydney.

And it's my and Alex's job to teach them these things - no one else's.

I have a hard enough time hearing others and being attentive in my relationships above all the noise that every day life brings. I sure can't hear my Heavenly Father if I'm always on the go. If I'm never in His Word. If I'm never still/quiet enough to know exactly what He's telling me to do - telling me what not to do - telling me what to say - telling me what NOT to say.

I love where she says:
"Religion has accepted the monstrous heresy that noise, size, activity, and bluster make a man dear to God. But we may take heart. To a people caught in the tempest of the last great conflict God says, “Be still and know that I am God,” and still He says it, as if He means to tell us that our strength and safety lie not in noise but in silence."

"Life is in the silence because God is there. If we will just listen."

"Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life:
no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."
-John 16:6

Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.
-Psalm 46:10

I don't ever want to get to a point of constant wishing for more hours in a day because I've filled mine to the max. God knew exactly how many hours I need in my day to accomplish what truly needs to be accomplished.

I'm thankful to say...the voice is gone.

Love to all,

Love is patient...

Amelia and I needed to be at our church by 10:30 this morning. She sleeps in pretty late so getting anywhere by that time is hard - unless I want to wake her up early. I usually just make sure I'm ready and have all of her things laid out and then wake her. We spent a couple of hours at the church, grabbed some CFA for lunch, and then headed to my SIL's house to swim. My friend, Heather was going to be there and I was looking forward to catching up with her. Once we arrived, I slathered Amelia down with sunscreen/put on her swimsuit and we were ready!

Fast forward 10-15 minutes.

What's that you hear?

Oh, that's my 20 month old screaming her head off.

Never mind, she'll stop in a minute.

Except she didn't.

Seriously, she made it 15 minutes in the pool. All she wanted to do was take off her floaties and run around the pool. Of course I told her she couldn't do that. She might fall in the pool and drown or fall and bust her head. She didn't really care for my take on it. She just wanted to "play." At that point I decided that we were leaving. I wasn't going to ruin everyone else's time by my child screaming. I'm sorry I don't have a picture to share. Just imagine my happy child losing her mind.

Can I just say that the closer we get to 2, the more I see this attitude creep out of my child and it exhausts me. I sit here racking my brains thinking, "what on earth am I going to do?" I actually get my feelings hurt when she acts like this and that in itself is comical. I'm the parent. She's 20 months old. She started mouthing something when we got in the car to leave and I just looked at her and said, "Amelia, please lay your head back and stop talking." She obeyed, but then I felt so guilty for saying that to her. I had a bad attitude because we were having to leave. Who's the parent again?

Sigh.

I know there will be lots of days like this but I've been blessed to have very few up to this point. Sometimes I just feel so tired and when I get a little glimpse of "the terrible 2's"...I get scared. Scared I won't have the patience and wisdom that I need to respond in the right way.

Today has been a tough parenting day.

I think we both need a nap.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
-1 Corinthians 13:4–8a

Love to all,

Where there's a will - there's a way.

Amelia turned 18 months old on the 22nd of April. People had told me that I would see a change in her anywhere from 18 months to 2 years old. I was hoping they were wrong and I would have the only child in the world that never disobeyed. Well it's like she woke up on the day she turned 18 months and realized she had a will. An opinion. She realized she didn't like being told what to do. I don't like being told what to do either but it's necessary sometimes. It's necessary most all of the time for a toddler.



I'm not going to lie - I get tired of telling her no. I've started saying stop instead of no because I'm so tired of saying that word. My Mom told me to make sure I'm not telling her to do something in the form of a question - I'm giving her the option to say no. I hadn't thought of this. I'm glad she told me.



Instead of saying "Amelia, will you come here please?"

I say "Amelia, come here please."

Instead of saying, "Amelia, will you pick up your toys please?"

I say "Amelia, pick up your toys please."

Sometimes she still looks at me and says very matter of factly "NO." She quickly looks at me to see what I'm going to do about her response. I respond very matter of factly with a spanking. Sigh.



This is the time in her life where we have to have the stronger will and be consistent. We believe that's the way to have a well-behaved, OBEDIENT child. Time-out may work for your child but you have to be consistent for your child to learn from it. Those around us may think we're hard on her but we can't allow her to act a way in public or at some one's home that we don't allow in our own home. She learns quickly and she will figure out that she can get away with more in public if we don't discipline. No one wants to be that parent but at the same time - no one wants to be that person witnessing the behavior of a misbehaved child in public either. I took her to a doctor's appointment where she decided to throw a fit after I told her no, so I had to discpline right there in the waiting room for all other patients to see! She stopped and moved on and started playing with toys. Before going into our appointment, an elderly woman stopped me and told me Amelia was a well-behaved, little girl. I think it's more painful for people to watch a parent do nothing than to do something. We always praise her for obedience and believe that's just as important as correcting her. We're so thankful to have parents who raised 6 children each and we aren't too proud to ask for their advice. We believe it's not only important to ask for advice but take the advice and apply it!

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he who heeds counsel is wise. Proverbs 12:15

Our girl is still sweet as ever but naturally she has to grow up and part of that is exercising her will. Alex and I are careful to make sure we don't expect too much from an 18 month old but as of right now - she understands and responds to correction quickly. We always love on her after correcting her and we believe that's important as well. We don't discipline out of anger and never want her to feel as though we're mad at her. We actually want her to feel the opposite...we want her to know we set boundaries and expect obedience because we love her.



We joke about this scripture but it's truth.

He who spares his rod hates his child, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly. Proverbs 13:24

Father, help us to stay consistent and to love her enough to correct her. Help us not to be lazy parents and choose to just "let it go" because we're tired. You know our heart is for Amelia to not only obey her parents as a child but to grow up and follow YOU in obedience. Thank you for Amelia. We love her to pieces. She is such a joy and makes our lives so much brighter! She's the best gift ever.



Psalm 127:3
Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him.

Love to all,

Longest 14 minutes of my life...

I constantly read about parents taking the paci away. Parents decide it's time at all different ages. I really don't think there's a perfect age but my goal was to have Amelia's paci gone by the time she turned 18 months old.

This is the month I've been dreading.

She loves her paci. We had gotten to where she only had it in her crib while sleeping - but fell off the wagon when she was getting sick a lot. We started letting her have it whenever she asked for it. We have never let Amelia cry it out in her crib. We've never really needed to do that. She put herself to sleep until she was about 6-7 months old and then wanted to be rocked, so we currently rock her to sleep every night. Her Daddy really enjoys that time with her and the girl sleeps from 8pm-10:00am every morning. It works for her. It makes her happy and in turn - we're happy parents. :) The paci is a huge part of the bedtime routine though. Daddy sits in the chair waiting for me to finish dressing her and then she goes to Daddy to rock her and she gets her paci. It's the first thing she asks for after I finish dressing her for bed, when she gets hurt or upset, when I'm changing her diaper. The paci = comfort to her.



There is a huge part of me that feels like she's still a baby if she still has a paci. I know that's crazy but it's true. As much as I like seeing her grow up and develop this cute personality...I miss her being a tiny baby. I miss it a lot. I actually cry while typing this. How can you love each and every stage yet burst into tears at the thought of them growing up?



Yesterday was the first day without a pacifier. I'm not going to lie...it's the hardest thing I've done so far as her mother. I just thought her getting tubes was hard...nope. I've never seen her like that. She cried so hard and was asking for her paci the entire time...just staring at the dresser where we usually keep it. I sat outside of her room and watched through a crack in the door while she cried off & on in her crib. She cried for 14 minutes.

The longest 14 minutes of my life.

Then there was quiet. She went to sleep.

When she woke up from her nap I picked her up and immediately introduced her to "lovie." My friend Faith sent it to her when she was really little and it has been in her dresser for a while. I decided that could possibly be her new "paci." I went on and on about "lovie"...how soft she is...how sweet she is. I asked her if she wanted to give it loves? She of course wanted to love on it. She kissed it and petted it (it's a little silky with a bear on the end of it). She continued to take lovie on our walk and sat it beside her while having a snack. Speaking of snacks. I bragged on her for being a big girl and told her we were going to watch a movie on the couch and that we could even eat our snack on the couch (this is not a normal occurrence in our home - food/drink are always eaten in the high chair). She was really excited and ran to the couch with her lovie.



I brought snacks and we watched a movie. She was thrilled. And yes, those are marshmallows AND graham crackers. The girl had her paci taken away from her - she deserved every junk item in the pantry in my book.



Throughout the day if she fell down or got upset about something...I would bring lovie to her. It worked.

Then came bath time. I had a little talk with her about how paci went bye-bye. She knows what bye-bye means so that's the only way I knew to tell her. She seemed to take it okay and off we went for a bath.



I dressed her after her bath and she never asked for her paci. I began to rock her and just prayed the entire time. She sat there rubbing her lovie between her fingers - biting it periodically. She never would go to sleep though, so I decided I would have to put her back in her crib to cry it out like at nap time. My heart started hurting as I put her in her crib. I did not want to hear her scream like that again. I kissed her, told her I loved her, laid her down, gave her lovie, and walked out of the room. She immediately started crying and I immediately started timing it because I was not going to let her cry for 14 minutes again.

She cried 1 minute.

Just 1 minute and then complete silence. I couldn't believe it.

I was concerned that she would wake up in the night and look for her paci (she does this often but always goes right back to sleep once she finds it) but she didn't...she slept all night and woke up at 8:30 this morning!

My S-I-L has been a great help. I talked to her all day asking questions. I've also been on the phone with my Mom and Joy...needing moral support. I was seriously crying like a baby on the phone. I don't like to hear her cry and she has always been such a good baby...she never really cried a lot. I felt like a heel taking something away that I gave her in the first place.

So there's no going back now...the paci is gone. I know it has been a soother/security thing for her and I don't want her to be anxious or anything because she no longer has it. Do 17 month olds get anxious? If you could have seen her at nap time yesterday...I think your answer would be yes. Bless her paci-lovin' heart. She'll be going down for her nap soon...wish us luck on day #2 with no paci. :)

Love to all,

Happy St. Patty's Day!!

Amelia had a play date with her cousins this week. She always has the best time with them. They had CFA for lunch and then played for a few hours.





By the time our company had to leave - Amelia was worn out! I needed to do something in the kitchen so I sat her in her highchair with a little snack. I looked over and she was sound asleep. She has never fallen asleep in her highchair. Ever. She took a 15-minute cat nap and was ready to go again.



Amanda came over to keep Amelia for a few hours yesterday. She's coming again today. Having a babysitter twice a week has changed my life. I'm serious. I'm so grateful to Alex for letting me have this time to take care of myself and to run my errands. Yesterday I was able to go to the chiropractor, to the post office, to Hobby Lobby, to get an oatmeal cookie & iced tea (this was the most important of the errands), to Hallmark, to the grocery store, and then headed back home.



I've pretty much bought everything for Amelia's Easter basket. I've been picking up things for a while and I only have one more thing to buy. I found several cute things in the dollar bin at Target! I always loved waking up to an Easter basket full of candy! My Mom bought one HUGE basket - filled it with each of our favorite candies - and would have it on the dining room table on Easter morning. Amelia doesn't really get candy in her basket but she'll get some other fun things.



We went out to eat last night. Alex took us to Outback Steakhouse. After we finished dinner - a couple (about the age of our parents) stopped and asked how old Amelia was and then told us that she was very well-behaved. We've never had issues with taking her out to eat but this is the first time strangers have stopped to comment on her behavior. It's always nice when someone older tells you that you're doing a good job. Whenever my Momma brags on me as a mother - it means the world to me. I think we (new/younger parents) need encouragement like that. Parenting is hard and it's easy to get discouraged. It's easy to tell someone what they're doing wrong and more than likely (in my opinion) we already see where we can improve. I don't know of anyone who thinks they're a perfect parent or that their children are perfect. It's normal for me to feel like I don't know what I'm doing on a regular basis! So if your kids are grown and your on the other side of the sleepless nights/fits in the restaurants/etc...encourage a (new/younger) parent this week. I think that would be nice.



We ended the evening with a trip to Walmart. Alex bought Amelia a ball pit for her birthday and it popped this week. He wanted to replace it since she plays in it every day. He chose one - brought it home - blew it up in her room - and then we realized it took up half her bedroom! I think we're going to have to make it an outside toy. If we can get it through the bedroom door. :) She loves it.



Speaking of outside toys. Our backyard is completely empty. Nothing. Nada. Amelia asks to go outside now that she's older and I have nothing for her to do out there. So what are some of your favorite backyard toys for this age? She'll be 17 months old this month.

Happy St. Patty's Day!!



Love to all,

Holiday House 2010 & more...

Every year, our local Junior League sponsors Holiday House. I mark my calendar every year and I don't miss it. Last year, I was VERY pregnant and swollen beyond belief. I had already started worrying about how I was going to walk around Holiday House being 9 years pregnant and all. Amelia decided to help a Mama out and come 5 weeks early. She was two weeks old when she experienced her first Holiday House. She was tucked away in a sling right next to her Mama the entire time. I remember women coming up constantly, asking to peek into the sling to see her. She was so tiny. Unless I knew them, they weren't allowed to peek. So hardly anyone was allowed to see her. I was insane enough to take my 2 week old baby out in public, but not insane enough to let complete strangers breathe on her. (LOL) Going to Holiday House with Amelia is something I plan to do every year. I love Christmas and I want her to love it just as much as I do! The story of our Savior's birth, the music, the decorations, the smell of cinnamon & cider, the movies, making Christmas cookies & candies, the warm/fuzzy feeling you get while shopping in a crowd.

You may experience a panic attack.

I experience warm fuzzies.

I love EVERYTHING about it. We've already started watching Christmas movies and I have to say, my girl is showing great promise in the I-LOVE-CHRISTMAS-AS-MUCH-AS-MY-MAMA department. We watched White Christmas (a classic and favorite of mine) and she was glued. I emailed my Momma immediately...I just had to share the happiness with someone else. She wrote back, "she's our girl!!"



Here we are at Holiday House this year. She was such a good girl. Just sat in her stroller, ate her snacks, waved at people, tried to pull ornaments off trees, etc. I usually find one thing at Holiday House for my home and this is what I found this year. It sits outside of our front door. I'm going to add some garland to it for Christmas. I love it because it flips over and has a Christmas greeting as well!



On Tuesday evening, I planned a date night for me and my sweetie. We've been trying to do better about taking time, just the two of us. I didn't realize just how hard that would be, once kids came along! Seems like there is always something to do and then we also have to arrange a babysitter for Amelia. Our church had given Alex a treasure chest full of gift cards for Pastor Appreciation Day. We had dinner at the Butcher Shop and it was delicious. Filet & twice baked potato? Yes, please. We were so thankful for our S-I-L, Elaina. She came over and watched Amelia for us. It's amazing how just two hours can "recharge your batteries." We had the best time together. We were laughing after dinner because Alex asked me where I wanted to go and I said, "TARGET!" Like I never get to go there. I just never get to go there without a baby to get in and out of a car seat, to change a poopy diaper (never fails) and to keep happy all through the store. I love the life of a Mama, but a break is needed sometimes.



Yesterday, Amelia had her cousins over for a play date and it was great fun! We've been trying to do this once a week. I have noticed that with older kids, Amelia does really well. She sits and watches them and will try to do whatever they do. I've also noticed that with kids her own age or smaller, she is more likely to take things away and is constantly wanting to touch their face, their eyes, their hair, etc. These play dates are teaching her to share and to not poke other kids eyes out. A very important life lesson. I just want her to play well with others and I know that she can't do that if she's never around other children. Of course, I love having some adult conversation during the day with Jen!



Amelia was begging for a "DAT" (bath) and "Nigh-Nigh" (night-night is her crib) by 6:30 last night. We usually don't start that process until 7:00 or after, so that Alex can have time to play with her when he gets home from work. He had stopped to pick up dinner and wasn't home yet, so I called to tell him that she was having a meltdown and asking for a bath and to go to bed. She would not stop saying, "DAT-DAT-DAT." He said to go ahead and that he would just give her a bottle and rock her when he got home. She was in bed asleep by 7:00pm and didn't wake up until 9:15 this morning! The girl was tired. She has been waking up at 7:00 every morning (since time change) and this Mama has been trying to adjust. I'm hoping she'll go back to sleeping until 8-9am, once her body gets used to the time change.

I bought the ingredients for french toast this morning and it was a hit! I made Joy's recipe and Alex said it was the best french toast he's ever eaten. Amelia agreed. It's actually the only french toast she's ever eaten, but the girl knows good food when she tastes it. She gave it a "YUM-YUM." That's equivalent to two thumbs up!



And now my two sweeties are napping and I'm going to grab a shower. Since it's after 1pm and all. :)

I hope you have a wonderful weekend. Alex said we might put the Christmas tree up tomorrow afternoon. *fingers crossed*

Love to all,

Terrible 1's?

Amelia and I met Hillary for lunch today! She is pregnant with her first baby and I'm so hoping it's a girl!! She finds out on Thursday. :) We met at Panera Bread. I seriously love their mac-n-cheese. Delicious. Towards the end of the meal, Amelia decided she was over it. She didn't want her yogurt on a spoon, she wanted to suck it out of the yogurt tube. She didn't want to sit in her highchair. She didn't want to sit in my lap. She did the whole arching of the back thing and started crying. I was mortified. She has never acted like that in a restaurant. I'm praying that it was due to the fact that we skipped our morning nap...but either way, it was embarrassing! Hillary assured me that she had seen worse fits in her life, but I still don't want to be THAT Mom with THAT child. The one that ruins every one's meal around them. The one that lets their child run around the restaurant because they won't sit in a highchair. I'll honestly leave the restaurant before that happens.

After lunch, we headed to the Toggery to try on some shoes. I had to unstrap her from her stroller, so she could stand up to be fitted for the shoes. Before I could even get her out of the stroller, she started arching her back, crying, and sliding herself out of the stroller! At this point, I'm whispering "Jesus take the wheel...Jesus take the wheel." I feel like she's too young to take to the bathroom and spank. She would forget what she had done before we even got to the bathroom. I did swat her diaper and say "NO" very firmly. She started crying and the elderly lady near us began to say, "oh, poor baby girl." Poor baby girl nothin'. Poor Mommy! We finished trying on shoes, left the store, and I promptly called her Daddy to tell him what HIS daughter was doing in public. I just can't believe it starts at one year old. At home I have no problem disciplining her, but in public - I panicked! I just don't want an adorable, misbehaved child. Misbehaved is not cute.

Heaven help.

We took these pictures today.



Don't let that cute face fool ya.



Amelia, I love you with all my heart. Which is why Proverbs 13:24 will now become our life verse. (LOL!)



Parenting is hard.

Love to all,