10/20/2009 - 11:30 AM
Mommy called to tell me that she was leaving her doctor's appointment and going straight to the hospital because her blood pressure was too high. Dr. Simmons said she was a classic case of preeclampsia. I left work immediately and called her back from my truck in route to the hospital. I wanted to reassure her that everything would be ok. In my mind, I knew that they don't tell you to check-in to L&D immediately, unless you or Mommy's health were at risk. It was 5 weeks early. Then I called Nana to let her know what was going on. That's when the reality hits me that I could lose my wife and daughter. My heart seemed to stop beating, and I told Nana that I was scared and need her to pray for me. After hanging up the phone with Nana, I prayed and God told me that He's got everything under control, my nerves settled some...
I showed up at L&D and Mommy wasn't in her room, I got to it before she did. She started to cry when she walked in...she told me that it wasn't time. I reminded her that we didn't have control over the timing, it was in God's hands. They had her put on a gown and hooked her up to monitors, so they could watch you both.
Mommy was very upset about not being ready. Our bags weren't packed and your room wasn't ready. Dr. Simmons had said that she would probably deliver sometime the next afternoon (10/21/09). Mommy was having measurable contractions when the monitor was put on her. Your vitals looked good, and I started to understand that you were fine. But Mommy was not okay. Her blood pressure was in the 160/110 range. The Doctor put her on potassium and also magnesium sulfate. Your Daddygrand was having surgery that day, so Nana left him with Aunt Alicia and came to be with us. Your Papa & Granny were on their way.
The Doctor tells us that they will start Mommy on labor inducing medicine at 1:00 AM in the morning, and that she will get an increased dose every 6 hours. This was to speed the process up, and counter act the magnesium sulfate. We were expecting you to be born around 2:00 PM on 10/21/2009. The Doctors said that Mommy couldn't have any thing going on that would stimulate her blood pressure. No TV, no phone, no loud visitors, etc.
Papa and Granny arrived from Osceola.
Your Mommy was happy to see her Momma!
She was very uncomfortable...the magnesium was making her very hot. We turned the temperature in the room down to around 60. Most visitors covered up with blankets because of how cold the room was being kept.
The rest of the afternoon was relatively uneventful. I learned how to read and understand the monitors that Mommy was connected to.
The nurses taking care of your Mommy were great. They made sure to tell us that you were far enough along to be healthy, but would still need help breathing. We expected you to spend a little time in the NICU, but didn't think that it would be more than a day. When we asked how you would look, one of the nurses said you would be fine and wouldn't look like a "squirrel." Ummm...how reassuring?
Aunt Joy, Aunt Sara & Uncle Cary went by our house and brought some clothes and things that we would need to stay overnight. We thought we would be there for 3-4 days.
I remember being very tired, but not being able to sleep. I just couldn't get my mind to shut down, one minute I would think "I am really going to be a Daddy." The next minute I would wonder if you and Mommy were going to be okay.
10/21/2009 - 1:00 AM
The nurse came in and started Mommy on the medicine to speed up labor. They expected it to take about 12 hours for you to be born. Most of the time I would encourage Mommy to sleep, and watch your heartbeat on the monitor. The nurse told me that the magnesium could make it hard for you to breathe once you were born, but that the NICU nurses would take good care of you.
Dr. Simmons came in and looked at Mommy. He said that she was dilated to 2-3cm and making progress. At this point, everything looked on schedule for you to deliver that afternoon.
The nurse came in and gave Mommy the next round of medicine to speed up labor. Most of the morning went by slow, Mommy was starting to feel more intense contractions. I could tell that she was exhausted, but she wanted to know that you were alright and couldn't really sleep. The medicine that she was on, made her muscles slow to respond to what her mind was telling them to do.
Mommy wasn't making any major progress so they gave here more medicine to speed things up. Her oxygen levels started to drop, so they put a mask on her to help her breathe. The effects of the medicine were taking their toll on her. Mommy kept wanting to take the oxygen mask off her face. I figured out very quickly that all I had to do was tell her YOU needed her to wear the oxygen mask and she would keep it on. :) Even though I could see your heart beat on the monitor, I wondered how the medicine Mommy was on would affect you. The contractions started coming more regularly, and Mommy had to really start breathing through them.
The Doctor came in and tried unsuccessfully to break Mommy's water. OUCH!!!!!!!! She screamed (not too loud) and it made everyone wince in pain - including the Doctor. I thought that she was going to break the bones in my hand because she squeezed it so hard. The Doctor said that as long as your vitals were good, and Mommy was stable and up for it, she could keep trying to deliver normally. Your Mommy was very tough and brave, and said that she would keep trying. Soon after, Mommy's blood pressure got very high and she started having little seizures. The nurse asked everyone (but me) to step out of the room. When they did, she buried her head in my shoulder and cried. I could tell that the medicine and pain were taking their toll on her, but she pressed on. I was starting to get very concerned that she might have a full seizure or stroke, the thoughts of losing her and you came flooding back to my mind. The nurse kept the room very dark and told me that I could just sit and hold Mommy's hand - she finally fell asleep.
I spent the afternoon and early evening sitting between Mommy's bed and the monitors, holding her hand and praying that everything would be ok. I knew that God told me it would be okay, but looking at her lying in that hospital bed with all of the IV's and monitors, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. The Doctor came in and gave Mommy an epidural and said that she needed to sit up in the bed to keep it working. While she was sitting up the Doctor decided that Mommy would need to lay back because sitting up raised her blood pressure to dangerous levels. For a while, it gave Mommy some relief of the contraction pain. All of your family was out in the waiting room. Your Papa asked Dr. Simmons how you and Mommy were doing, he said that you were fine, but that Mommy was "very sick." At this point, he didn't find a c-section to be in your Mommy's best interest because she was so sick. So we wait.
That evening, Granny, Nana, Aunt Alicia and Aunt Joy, came back in the room. They knew that Mommy wasn't doing well, and were worried because they had been sitting out in the waiting room since the nurse asked them to leave. We took turns holding her hand as she had contractions and trying to help her breathe. Dr. Simmons had come by and said that Mommy was making more progress and that she had dilated more so she kept trying to have a normal delivery. Dr. Breniman was now on duty, and would more than likely be the delivering physician.
Mommy's epidural wasn't working. She was in major pain and had dangerously high blood pressure at this point. Mommy could not only feel all of the contractions, but also the effects of the other medicines that she was taking, and the lack of sleep. For the next two hours, we started considering having a c-section. Mommy didn't want to, but your and her health were at risk. The medicines that she was taking would also have an affect on you after a while, so she couldn't stay on them for much longer.
10/22/2009 - 12:15 AM
Mommy and I talked and we felt like it would be best to have the c-section. Her blood pressure had been as high as (187/136) and I was worried that she might have a stroke. I knew that they could do a c-section very quickly. I wanted you to be here and for Mommy to be stabilized.
Granny and I started putting on our clothes so that we could go in while they did the surgery.
I was starting to lose it, I hadn't had any sleep in over 43 hours and all of the circumstances were taking their toll on me.
Granny and I walked with Mommy, the Doctor, and the nurses, to the OR.
Granny and I had to wait outside on a bench until they had Mommy ready. Daddygrand came over to pray with me and give me a hug.
We sat on the bench for about 30 minutes, but it seemed like 30 days.
A couple of times the code blue alarm went off, and I couldn't help but wonder if it was your Mommy. As I sat there, it felt like my heart never made a beat, all I could do was pray that everything would be ok. Granny was talking 90-to-nothing (which is not like her at all) so I knew that she must be just a nervous as me. I couldn't talk at all.
10/22/2009 - 12:45 AM
Finally, the nurse came and got us and led us into the OR. Granny sat down right by Mommy's head, and I sat down where I could hold her hand.
I could see everything that was going on and even though I understood the procedure, I was still in shock at the violent nature of a c-section. Your Mommy was conscious (but out of it). Your Granny and I tried to explain what was going on during the c-section.
Dr. Breniman delivered you on October 22nd, 2009 at 1:01am. You were not making any noise or moving.
You were very blue. I thought I was prepared to see you like that, but I wasn't. I knew what God had told me, so when Mommy asked how you were, I said that you were fine. They started a count of how long you went without oxygen. My world seemed to stop turning. Although it was only seconds before they put a breathing tube down you throat and got you oxygen, it felt like years. I finally saw your foot move, and it gave me a sense of relief. But you never cried. Your first Apgar score was a 5. Once they had the tube in, the NICU nurses took you straight to the NICU, and all Mommy and Granny got was a glimpse of you. I noticed that your face had started turning red and that you were moving a little as the nurse went by. Granny and I stayed with Mommy and followed her back to the room.
Once I knew for sure that your Mommy was ok, Nana and I came to see you in the NICU. You were so tiny. I was afraid to touch you because you had so many wires attached to you.
They had already removed the breathing tube and you just had a cannula under your nose to supplement your oxygen. The NICU Doctor said that you were fine. I wanted to hold you, but couldn't. That would come later.
Mommy and I were back in the L&D room alone, she was sound asleep and you were doing great. My heart was very full and my world was at peace. I could rest.
"ALEX", "ALEX" - the sound of Mommy yelling my name jolted me to my feet without hardly even waking up, and I jumped toward her bed. I couldn't imagine what could be so wrong that she would wake up yelling my name, and where was the nurse? Why wasn't she already tending to whatever was wrong? Much to my surprise, Mommy points to the floor by the supplies room, I see Aunt Elaina lying on the floor unconscious. Mommy tells me she passed out. I get down to check her pulse and she starts to come to...as she sees my face she gets startled. I told her where she was and what had happened. Soon after, Andrew comes in with the nurse and she checks Aunt E out and gives her some juice to drink - they told her it was probably her blood sugar.
Once we knew for sure that Aunt E was ok, she and Uncle Andrew left. I decided that it would be best to limit the visitors for the day, and try to get rested. We went back to sleep, ever so cautiously. :)
Mommy was doing much better and her blood pressure was under control, so they said we could move to a normal room. On the way from L&D to Postpartum, the nurse took us by the NICU to see you. They rolled Mommy's bed right into your NICU room.
It was the first time that Mommy had been able to see or touch you, since they rushed you by in the OR. We smiled, laughed, and cried all at the same time. You spent 6 days in the NICU. You were one of the bigger babies there (5 lbs - 2 ounces). The nurses loved to hold you. You were a little bundle of joy, Amelia Joy. You're an answered prayer, fulfilled promise, and a wonderful blessing from God. Sweet child, you will never know how much we love you until you look into the face of your own first born.
I love you with all of my heart,