Thursday, April 14, 2011

Longest 14 minutes of my life...

I constantly read about parents taking the paci away. Parents decide it's time at all different ages. I really don't think there's a perfect age but my goal was to have Amelia's paci gone by the time she turned 18 months old.

This is the month I've been dreading.

She loves her paci. We had gotten to where she only had it in her crib while sleeping - but fell off the wagon when she was getting sick a lot. We started letting her have it whenever she asked for it. We have never let Amelia cry it out in her crib. We've never really needed to do that. She put herself to sleep until she was about 6-7 months old and then wanted to be rocked, so we currently rock her to sleep every night. Her Daddy really enjoys that time with her and the girl sleeps from 8pm-10:00am every morning. It works for her. It makes her happy and in turn - we're happy parents. :) The paci is a huge part of the bedtime routine though. Daddy sits in the chair waiting for me to finish dressing her and then she goes to Daddy to rock her and she gets her paci. It's the first thing she asks for after I finish dressing her for bed, when she gets hurt or upset, when I'm changing her diaper. The paci = comfort to her.

There is a huge part of me that feels like she's still a baby if she still has a paci. I know that's crazy but it's true. As much as I like seeing her grow up and develop this cute personality...I miss her being a tiny baby. I miss it a lot. I actually cry while typing this. How can you love each and every stage yet burst into tears at the thought of them growing up?

Yesterday was the first day without a pacifier. I'm not going to's the hardest thing I've done so far as her mother. I just thought her getting tubes was hard...nope. I've never seen her like that. She cried so hard and was asking for her paci the entire time...just staring at the dresser where we usually keep it. I sat outside of her room and watched through a crack in the door while she cried off & on in her crib. She cried for 14 minutes.

The longest 14 minutes of my life.

Then there was quiet. She went to sleep.

When she woke up from her nap I picked her up and immediately introduced her to "lovie." My friend Faith sent it to her when she was really little and it has been in her dresser for a while. I decided that could possibly be her new "paci." I went on and on about "lovie" soft she sweet she is. I asked her if she wanted to give it loves? She of course wanted to love on it. She kissed it and petted it (it's a little silky with a bear on the end of it). She continued to take lovie on our walk and sat it beside her while having a snack. Speaking of snacks. I bragged on her for being a big girl and told her we were going to watch a movie on the couch and that we could even eat our snack on the couch (this is not a normal occurrence in our home - food/drink are always eaten in the high chair). She was really excited and ran to the couch with her lovie.

I brought snacks and we watched a movie. She was thrilled. And yes, those are marshmallows AND graham crackers. The girl had her paci taken away from her - she deserved every junk item in the pantry in my book.

Throughout the day if she fell down or got upset about something...I would bring lovie to her. It worked.

Then came bath time. I had a little talk with her about how paci went bye-bye. She knows what bye-bye means so that's the only way I knew to tell her. She seemed to take it okay and off we went for a bath.

I dressed her after her bath and she never asked for her paci. I began to rock her and just prayed the entire time. She sat there rubbing her lovie between her fingers - biting it periodically. She never would go to sleep though, so I decided I would have to put her back in her crib to cry it out like at nap time. My heart started hurting as I put her in her crib. I did not want to hear her scream like that again. I kissed her, told her I loved her, laid her down, gave her lovie, and walked out of the room. She immediately started crying and I immediately started timing it because I was not going to let her cry for 14 minutes again.

She cried 1 minute.

Just 1 minute and then complete silence. I couldn't believe it.

I was concerned that she would wake up in the night and look for her paci (she does this often but always goes right back to sleep once she finds it) but she didn't...she slept all night and woke up at 8:30 this morning!

My S-I-L has been a great help. I talked to her all day asking questions. I've also been on the phone with my Mom and Joy...needing moral support. I was seriously crying like a baby on the phone. I don't like to hear her cry and she has always been such a good baby...she never really cried a lot. I felt like a heel taking something away that I gave her in the first place.

So there's no going back now...the paci is gone. I know it has been a soother/security thing for her and I don't want her to be anxious or anything because she no longer has it. Do 17 month olds get anxious? If you could have seen her at nap time yesterday...I think your answer would be yes. Bless her paci-lovin' heart. She'll be going down for her nap soon...wish us luck on day #2 with no paci. :)

Love to all,


Lauren said...

Poor thing, but it sounds like she's going to handle the transition to no paci like a trooper!!! :)

Susy said...

Bless both of your hearts! That had to be rough! I hope nap time is better today. The lovie sounds like a great distraction...good thinking, mama!

becca said...

Good luck! Abigail took a paci. I decided I wouldn't let her have it outside her crib once she became mobile. Stuck to it and then at 9 months I took it away completely. She isn't picky now and she wasn't then. Don't remember anything ever being an issue. She just did "what she was supposed to do." The boys have been SO DIFFERENT!! Noah took a paci for 2.5 years! I NEVER thought I'd allow that... but he was squooshed bt a 3 year old and a newborn, so that thing saved my life. It made him totally portable. He could go without a nap anywhere we went and be the most tired little guy... but if he had that paci, he was happy.
The rest of them boys wouldn't have a thing to do with a paci. They only wanted ME. Not very easy to say THAT went away!

Kaysie said...

You're such a good mama. :) I don't have any kids yet, but when moms blog about things like this I always take it to heart and make note of it for our future children. It sounds like her lovie is working out great. Good luck with the rest of her naps and bedtimes!

Charon Benton said...

You did great Momma!!!! DOn't you worry about a thing--Sounds like Amelia is already saying bye-bye to the paci (or the pappy as we called it in my house).....

Patterson Family said...

I just love your southern accent!

We have given Drake a lovie since about 8 weeks old. He used a paci at first, too, but gave that up on his own. One thing you might do is have multiple lovies in case you need to wash one. We have three (not all the same) and Drake will take any of them.

Way to go, Amelia!

Christi said...

Good luck on day 2 of no pack. Way to go.

Oh Jill, I feel for you about crying about her growing up. I'm crying about her growing up so fast...maybe because I love each stage with my babies too and just feel like they are growing up so fast. I really struggle at times with my baby not being a baby anymore, because I just absolutely have loved each and every stage of being their momma. Crying it out made me cry it out too. I pushed it off as long as possible with my littlest one, because I didn't feel (as a mom) that it was necessary right when the dr said it was.

We didn't have pacis in our house. I swore that our youngest would take one...but she wanted to prove me wrong...maybe because God knows that if our babies wanted them I'd like continue to keep letting them use them!

Mommyhood is such a blessing.

Shannon said...

Bless you both!! Poor things. I am totally dreading weaning Westin. Probably the same feelings you have. It is his comfort. We are down to only nursing once in the middle of the night. It is what puts him back to sleep though and comforting to him. We are going to have some sleepless nights soon!! Since he has never had a bottle or paci this is all he knows. It will be hard but it is time. My goal was to have him weaned by 14 months but it might be 14 months and 29 days. Hahaha

PJ said...

You are my hero!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who can't (won't?) do cry it out. We sort of, kind of tried it a few times and I just can't stand it.

Both of my babies are huge paci fans, so I'm dreading that a lot! The Lovie is a great idea.

She's so, so sweet. Love the pictures.

Joannah said...

This is a big milestone! Hopefully in just a few days she will not miss it anymore. Be glad she was a pacifier baby. I was a thumbsucker until I was eight years old. You can't take the thumb away...

Mel said...

Sounds like she's going to be ok! Keep firm, I think consistency is key.

We are in a world of trouble with my little thumbsucker. I have tried already to stop her a little bit, but she's only gets more defiant when I do. I figure with the new baby coming in a few months, now really isn't the time to start this battle. Dr. Sears says they really have to stop by 4, so I guess I have a little bit of time.


Joy@WhenDoesDaddyComeHome said...

Only one of my three girls wanted a pacifier and she had it until she was 2 I think, maybe 2.5 yrs. Anyway we really talked it up about her binky having to go bye-bye. We took her to Build-A-Bear, explained that she would get the bear and no more binkies and she was cool with it. We put her binky in the bear and she only asked for her binky once after that; she was a trooper!

I think it's more painful for us mommas than for the kiddos. It really is a "growing up" thing to ditch the bink which of course we don't want them to grow up, at least not SO fast.

My youngest got a lovey for her 1st birthday and has to sleep with it. We ended up getting her a second one because there have been times she misplaced/lost the lovey. So I'd ask your friend where she got it and get some back-ups just in case!

Sara said...

Sounds like our experience with the paci. The first nap without it was painful, but that night she barely cried. She never looked for the paci again!

Congrats - I know how hard it is listening to them cry. You did good, momma!