Thursday, July 14, 2011

Love is patient...

Amelia and I needed to be at our church by 10:30 this morning. She sleeps in pretty late so getting anywhere by that time is hard - unless I want to wake her up early. I usually just make sure I'm ready and have all of her things laid out and then wake her. We spent a couple of hours at the church, grabbed some CFA for lunch, and then headed to my SIL's house to swim. My friend, Heather was going to be there and I was looking forward to catching up with her. Once we arrived, I slathered Amelia down with sunscreen/put on her swimsuit and we were ready!

Fast forward 10-15 minutes.

What's that you hear?

Oh, that's my 20 month old screaming her head off.

Never mind, she'll stop in a minute.

Except she didn't.

Seriously, she made it 15 minutes in the pool. All she wanted to do was take off her floaties and run around the pool. Of course I told her she couldn't do that. She might fall in the pool and drown or fall and bust her head. She didn't really care for my take on it. She just wanted to "play." At that point I decided that we were leaving. I wasn't going to ruin everyone else's time by my child screaming. I'm sorry I don't have a picture to share. Just imagine my happy child losing her mind.

Can I just say that the closer we get to 2, the more I see this attitude creep out of my child and it exhausts me. I sit here racking my brains thinking, "what on earth am I going to do?" I actually get my feelings hurt when she acts like this and that in itself is comical. I'm the parent. She's 20 months old. She started mouthing something when we got in the car to leave and I just looked at her and said, "Amelia, please lay your head back and stop talking." She obeyed, but then I felt so guilty for saying that to her. I had a bad attitude because we were having to leave. Who's the parent again?

Sigh.

I know there will be lots of days like this but I've been blessed to have very few up to this point. Sometimes I just feel so tired and when I get a little glimpse of "the terrible 2's"...I get scared. Scared I won't have the patience and wisdom that I need to respond in the right way.

Today has been a tough parenting day.

I think we both need a nap.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
-1 Corinthians 13:4–8a


Love to all,

10 comments:

Just Believing said...

I just wrote this on FB yesterday my 22 month old def has these moments where I wonder where my child went and who this new one is...its hard and complicated and I still dont know...I know what I have to do but I wish she would just make it easy so I wouldnt have to do it...but such is life and parenting...hugs to you and know you are most certainly NOT alone!

PJ said...

We're getting a little of that tantrumy stuff already and I am not a fan! Mostly it's, "I don't want to go to bed", but sometimes it is when they want something they can't have. Oh. My. Goodness.

Love the verse.

Immeasurably More Mama said...

Oh, sister! There are MANY bad parenting days on my record...thankfully the Lord covers me with mercy and grace. Not to make excuses for our behavior, but He knows we are sinners raising sinners...we're going to mess up! I am convinced marriage and parenting are God's sanctification process for us! :-)

Amber said...

Parenting on days like that are no fun. I believe that you are a wonderful momma and doing a great job raising Amelia. Stay strong and consistent.

beebee said...

I can honestly say there are moments of every day that I am not proud of my parenting. I've been planning a blog post, but I just don't seem to have the energy or the time to actually write it. I know the kind of parent I want to be, but the reality is sometimes different. I'm trying hard but it's not easy.

Sara said...

We are going through that right now and it is tough! I find myself almost in tears sometimes but I keep reminding myself that it is just a phase. That usually helps until the next melt down.

The part I have the hardest time with is they can come out of no where over the smallest things..... It is like I walk around in fear wondering when the next one is coming. Ha!

Bryce had one so bad last week in public I just knew someone was going to accuse me of trying to abduct him!

It is nice to know I am not alone so thanks for sharing!

kristin fulghum said...

are our children twins??? oh my word, i have been feeling just like this lately. it's embarrassing and i'm always worried that people are judging me. i have to constantly remind myself that my goal of parenting is her heart...not what others think. but dang, it's hard. good for you for leaving. i know that sucks but at least you weren't giving in to her! thanks for sharing.

Lauren said...

Girl, you are the best Mommy to Amelia, and I’m sure on the hardest of days it’s easy to forget that, and just here to remind you of that today!! Sorry it was a rough day. I’m not a parent but I wouldn’t imagine that God uses the rough days to remind that you can’t do the parenting thing on your own. Love ya, friend!!

rental mobil said...

Very nice, thanks for sharing.

Mel said...

SIGH.

I hate to say it only gets worse because it sounds SO NEGATIVE. But it does. At 28 months, I have stretches of days where I find myself asking "who is this child?"

It is amazing how the bad days come in clumps, too. We'll have a really terrible run of tantrums, disobedience and impatience for days and then POOF! She's a dream child for a week. I've just gotten to the point where I wake up every day and pray for a good one. And manage the best I can with the bad ones. I am not proud of myself for some of the days I've snapped or had to force her to do something because she absolutely refused to cooperate.

Gives you a REAL appreciation for how the Lord must see us. You're doing great at this mom thing. All we can do is love them and raise them the way He wants us to. GOOD DAYS and BAD DAYS.
xoxo