Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I hate the scale...

I had my monthly doctor's visit, today. I'm still having to see the other OBs in the office - before they will let me go back to seeing my doctor. Upon sitting down in the chair in the nurse's office, she informed me that the doctor I was supposed to see today wasn't there. He had to head to the hospital to deliver two babies. So they put me with another doc. But not before putting me on the scale. Ugh.

After stepping on the scale, the nurse informed me that I've already gained more than they recommend for the entire pregnancy. I'm assuming THEY are the nurses because not one doctor has ever mentioned my weight. But EVERY nurse that I've seen has made it the top subject of conversation.

Thanks. Thanks for that.

I started crying. I've gained a total of 27 lbs and I'm 27w4d. I have really tried to do better over the past 4 weeks. Every time I go in, the weight is just more and more. I don't know what to do at this point. She started giving me ideas of what I could do and suggested that if I stick with this, I could come in next month and not have gained a pound. Seriously? I'm in my 3rd trimester. Even if I did stick with her plan, my baby isn't going to grow anymore from here until my due date?

Doubt it.

I refuse to eat salad without dressing and grilled fish for every meal. I refuse to not eat a cookie and have a glass of milk when I want one. It's not as if I'm sitting down, eating a box of twinkies on a daily basis. As a matter of fact, I haven't touched a twinkie in the last 7 months. And I love twinkies!!

She suggested that I walk for exercise and I explained to her that every time I walk for exercise, I bleed. The bleeding scares me. And the last time I bled, it sent me to labor & delivery. This seemed to go in one ear and out the other. She continued to give me suggestions.

By the time I got to a room and the doctor came in, I was a teary-mess. I literally was sweating from head to toe...my bra was soaked. I was sweating behind my knees. I felt terrible. I was so nervous as to what he would say. He could tell something was wrong. I told him what the nurse said about my weight gain and then really started to cry. He was so kind and said, "you don't think another thing about your weight." If he said it once, he said it 15 times in my appointment. I think his kindness made me even more emotional. I had to apologize for my inability to stop crying. He put his arm around me and told me that I am doing nothing that would hurt A. He read my chart and saw what we went through just to get pregnant with her and said, "A is precious to you and she's precious to us." He told me I was already a wonderful mother. Seriously, he was so nice and I couldn't stop crying.

My blood pressure was perfect. A is measuring right on target. Her heart rate was perfect. He suspects that the swelling I have been experiencing is from the heat. He told me to just cut out any extra salt and drink lots of water. He reiterated that at my height and BMI, he's not worried about my weight gain.

I don't know why, but the nurse's comments really got to me. She might as well have called me a fatty and started oinking at me. I came home, went straight to bed and went to sleep. I couldn't stop crying. I hate the scale. It makes me dread every appointment.

Oh, and I get to see the same nurse next time. Since her doctor was out, I was re-scheduled with him again.

Goody.

36 comments:

Annie said...

Bless your heart... I'm with you, I'm not going to eat salad with no dressing and not have a cookie if I dont want it... and I'm also agreeing with your dr.-- if he says that everything is fine, then it is! :) How wonderful to have a doctors who know how precious your baby is to you and claims her to be to them, too! So sweet!!!
I always dreaded the scales at by OB visits...I ALWAYS made my appts first thing in the morning!

The Patterson's said...

Oh...I am so sorry, Jill!!! This is one thing I am a little nervous about, too. The nurse did tell me that they don't say much unless you gain a lot each time, but I'm still nervous! Hope she is nicer next time you go in!! Are you going every two weeks now?

Heather said...

I am so mad at that nurse that I wish I could go and pay her a little visit!!!! There is so much I want to say but let me summarize (1) Please take to heart what the Dr. said and let that nurse's comments go. Easier said than done, I know. (2) You look great and feel great- that is the goal! (3) I have a friend who gained 80 pounds (seriously!) in her pregnancy and her baby was healthy and now she is back to her normal weight. (4) When you are pregnant, you get a cookie anytime you want one!!! (5) GOD is in charge of all this, not a smart-mouthed nurse!
WHEW!!! I could probably say more, but I will stop there.
I just love you and don't want ANYONE stealing any part of your joy!! Sweet baby A is going to be adorable and I can't wait to see that little doll! Her momma is precious!!!! PRECIOUS!!!
Hugs!!!
P.S. I hate "bra sweating!" It is a fact of life in pregnancy and post-pregnancy....but it is unfortunate! :)

Rhonda Rae said...

its ok gurl i had mt apt today 2 and the nujrse did the same thing then the doc came in and told me im doin fine. even tho at the begainin of my pregnacy he told me not to gain any and ive gained 20lbs. I gained 50 with both robby and davis and now im 140lbs more then when i got preg with robby so it could be worse. also logan is measuring 6 weeks ahead looks like im gonna have a 13lb baby lol

MomMom said...

Jill, I gained 40 lbs. with both of my babies. Please don't let the nurse's comments bother you. As long as your blood pressure is OK, A is thriving as she should, the doctor told you not to worry, etc., then just pray for divine amnesia so you can forget the nurse's comments. Also, we do tend to get a little more emotional when we're pregnant but you're fine. Relax and enjoy the last few weeks of your pregnancy. I had two very healthy babies after gaining 40 lbs. and I'm about 5'6" and have a medium frame.

Xillary said...

I hate the scale so much too! I'm always in trouble for gaining too much. My appointments are on Tuesdays, so right after I overindulge on the weekends. We'll just have to work it off later!

amy said...

That nurse is ridiculous! I will never forget when my perinatologist (high risk specialist) told me with twins I should only gain 35 lbs- WHAT?! HE told me that at 25 weeks when I had already gained nearly 30 lbs. My OB told me not to listen to him. :) My sister AND BF both gained 50 lbs with their pregnancies- both perfect, healthy mommies and babies too. Hang in there- your little A is a MIRACLE- don't let anything take that joy away even for a second. :)

becca said...

I emailed you but publicly I just want to say "ditto" to heather.
As for bra sweating... I put powder in my bra... it helps some!

Anonymous said...

Mean ole Nurses!!! Eat a box of twinkies in spite of her!! She ought to be ashamed

-nat

Cuddles and Chaos said...

Many hugs. I HATE scales and I'm not even pg anymore. I'm telling you it was my prenatal scale appointments that did it to me.
You're growing a baby and you're not doing anything unreasaonable.
My dr was never one to get hung up on my weight except when I got really sick and lost a lb at the end! One time a nurse yelled at me for gaining like 4 lbs in a month and then I had to go do a gluscose test with women who had gained 9 and 11 lbs that month. i think sometimes nurses think that their words will make you not gain so much weight when they really hurt.
Your doctor is very nice, I"m thankful that he hugged you.
I had two pregnancies that I couldn't exercise so my dr would have rather have me gain weight than risk the baby(ies) well-being. You're growing Baby A and that is a joy and treasure. The weight will come off and 27 lbs is not bad but average...my dr always said 1 lb a week.
Sometime could you email me your baby's name because I have something I'm working on. I promise not to share it :)
Hugs. Don't waste another tear on that nurse's comments or the feedback on the scale.

Mom of 3! said...

Girl, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Weight gain is hard even in pregnancy.... but your body is doing what it needs to do to make a home for baby girl. She's fine, you are fine and next time you can go into your appointment and listen to the nurse the same way she did you. In one ear and right out the other.

Glad to know that the swelling isn't anything serious. Stay off your feet and stay cool!

The Disheroons said...

You go ahead and eat girl. I personally lost a little bit right at the end of my pregnancy. If you choose to nurse that helps take it off when the baby gets here also. And really have you ever seen a happy skinny person. I personally just don't think you can be very happy if your skinny. lol

Laura said...

Bless your heart! AUGH! Nurses!! Just like in other professions, you've got people out there that have have book smarts, but not street smarts :) Sweetie--you don't worry about the nurse's dumb comments. She could have already been ticked off at something and taken it out on you. You have had such a rough time--just focus on being happy--you deserve it! Just listen to the doctor and focus on what he said. I know those comments sting--even if they aren't true. The best thing you can do right now is to pray for the nurse. Sounds to me like she needs some prayer! The Lord will work with her and hopefully by the next time you have to see her, she'll be a changed woman!!!

XOXOX!

Karen Cleveland said...

I love your blog!! This is my first time to post a comment, but I just had to after reading about your day today. I just had a baby (my 3rd) last wednesday--I gained 45 pounds!! That's right 45!! My tiny little dr. told me that she gained over 50 pounds with each pregnancy--that nurse was so mean!! You look great and little Miss A is growing so well, please do not let that crazy nurse get to you!! Just enjoy every moment of feeling your sweet little girl inside you and eat whatever your heart desires!! Good luck with your pregnancy and I can't wait to see pictures of Miss A!!

Momx6 said...

You already know what I think. LOL

bb and mtb said...

First of all, don't let the nurses comments get you down. Second, believe it or not, the weight gain really can slow down in the third trimester. For weeks and weeks, I only gained a pound only to lose it at my next appointment. You are doing great!!!!

Joannah said...

I'm so sorry you had to endure that!

Next time tell her you shared her concerns with the doctor, and that he wasn't concerned.

How many women have we all heard of who gained 40 or 45 pounds with their babies. Everybody is different.

Just eat smart, rest, and maybe do a little swimming if you've got access to a pool!

:-)

Glitter and Bliss said...

OK... Listen here. You are perfectly fine on weight. I do agree..you went through so much to be where you are. I do not want anyone to put any kind of damper on this wonderful experience for you. You will wish for these pregnancy days back...I promise. You will search your internal memory bank a million times to try to remember what it felt likt to carry the babies you now can't imagine one second without. You want to remember each little kick and movement.... Please don't cry... and don't walk either. That is scary.. Visit with your hubby. I know he is making you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. Hugs...Hugs....and more Hugs.... Leslie

Joy said...

What a sweet doctor! OBGYN nurses have nothing better to do but to butt in when they aren't even supposed to. Honestly, don't listen to it. I gained 50 lbs with my firstborn and she was perfectly healthy (only 7 lbs 5 ounces).

Seraphim said...

Darling girl. You are gorgeous. Do you know with my first baby the nurse who took my BP each time would comment on how high it was? It was because I got so stressed about the comments she made about my weight gain every time I saw her. Whenever anyone else took my BP it was fine.
For each pregnancy I have gained ALOT of weight and then I've worked hard to lose it too.You'll do the same. Enjoy this special time with your baby growing inside you. Don't let anyone take it away from you.
I know how hard won this precious baby girl is for you.
Love her, and the rest will just fall away
(including the weight once she enters the world! ;))

Heather said...

I love my gyno but as an OB - he is a weight NAZI! He made me cry every appointment. I'm so sorry!! I know how horrible it is. This is a special experience - don't let her ruin it for you. Listen to your doctor. You are a good mother, you deserve this happiness - DO NOT let her take this from you.

Thinking of you.

Linda Lou Rogers Averitt said...

well< looks like the nurse goes by the book, and everyone is diffrent! I do not like people not to take into fact we are all different and weight gain is different in each of us. So sorry, I know she is trying to help, but next time tell her it is your weight for her not to worry her self about it, you are tall, and can carry it! I am sure she was short:) for real it is hard to watch your weight when pregant, I did weight watchers when pg with Sean only gained 12 pds., then when he was born I lost 30pds. but then years later I gained and now have had to lose it again....so my out look is, enjoy your PG and you can always lose the weight once your not pg! It does come off:) so for today drink lots of water and rest those feet and forget walking.....dry up your sweet tears and have fun today! according to Dr. L. Averitt:)

Emily said...

girl I gained 50...YES 50 with my second, Ally...now, she weighed a whopping 10 lbs, but I lost it with a little work. DO NOT worry and keep doing what you're doing to keep you and her healthy!! With my 3rd, I gained 18! And I did nothing different!!!
One thing I did when I gained 50 was I told the nurse, " I DO NOT want to know my weight" becasue it would upset me. I knew at the end but at the end I had a beautiful baby girl and could've cared less. She respected that and just jotted it down and went on with her business. Might tell her that next time.

Nitzia said...

Oh no, sweet Jill! do not worry about that... just listen to the doctor they know better!! that's why they went longer years to school! and no offense to the nurses i know they mean well and do work very hard but sometimes they are not very personable with the patients... i gained like 34 lbs... and look at me how short i am... you know John William was 9.10lbs so if you have just gained 27 lbs as tall as you are just fine! you have to enjoy your pregnancy and delight yourseld every once in a while is the only time in your life when you can really eat whatever you want and not have to worry about it... you can excersice and get on a diet after you have the baby and loose all that weight, i did it and with all the weight i gained i lost it all after a few months.... you can do it! don't worry and eat what you want:)

entrusted said...

I'm sorry, friend! Listen to the doctor and not the nurse. You could even call and ask for a different nurse at your next appointment, even if she is the one assigned to the particular doctor you'll see then. You don't by any means look like you've gained too much weight in your pictures.

Elaine said...

Oh, you poor thing...Just turn your head, that's what I always did. Everyone is right. The ultimate goal is to have a healthy baby--who cares how much weight you gain as long as she is gaining weight too? Right...? Shake off her comments and listen to us! You are beautiful! 'nuff said.

:)

Laura said...

Do you have any kind of Bible study book that you read while you were waiting to get pregnant that you could recommend to me? I'm feeling a bit spiritually under-nourished right now and feel like I need some daily encouragement. I'll post something after work today that will explain more about what's going on lately. I just really feel like I need some one-on-one "quiet" time with God, and hopefully having daily Bible study will help!

Hilary said...

Oh honey!! Wish I could hug you..you look great!! :) Your doing GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Eric and Emily said...

oh my goodness, what a yucky nurse! My doctor was the strict one with me, I don't know if you remember my post on the diet I was suppose to stick to, it was tough! I had the biggest appetite when I was pregnant too, so not easy. Well I still do with the breastfeeding though! Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, the weight really does come off, I promise!

Cheryl said...

Oh, Jill! I am sooooo sorry that nurse or any nurse treated you the way she did. That is beyond rude! Your weight is nothing of importance to the fact that you have baby A growing inside you and she is truly a MIRACLE!!! I am glad your doctor was so nice. Hang in there! Love ya!

Cheryl said...

One more thing... I tried that working out/walking thing and it just isn't worth it. I literally almost passed out the last time I tried hitting up the gym. That will just have to wait until later and we will be just fine! ;-)

Laura said...

Thanks again! Excited about the list of devotionals!! Take your time...just need some "God Time" the next month and to shift gears!
XOXOX!

annalee said...

amen sista. if it is any comfort, you are not alone on this. i'm glad you have a dr. that continued to remind you of the truth! try to hold onto that (as hard as it is) and keep doing just what you are doing, giving that sweet baby girl a good place to grow inside you!
i gained 8 lb. two appts ago, and then this past appt i thought i had done so, so much better and i guess now because i gained another 13 lb! it is so frustrating, but i am convinced some of our bodies just gain more with pregnancy, don't beat yourself up for that. i gained between 40 and 50 with adelaide and was able to lose it afterward. i'm hoping that is the case again this time, but no matter what i have to keep reminding myself that most important is that growing baby. sending you lots of preggo love from tx!

Sara said...

I just read this post and it made my blood boil to think of those nurses telling you that. 27 pounds at this point...that is terrific. Seriously, some women gain 60+ pounds in pregnancy. Suggesting that you need to diet and exercise right now is absurd. I am so glad to see others have made similar comments...stay happy, stay well, stay eating!!!

Leah J. said...

Hi there! I found your blog through my sister's (Amy O.) I just had to post a comment. That nurse is just horrible! Your body will gain the amount of weight needed for a healthy pregnancy. I gained 50 pounds with my first pregnancy and am well on my way to gaining the same with this one. Both were/have been healthy pregnancies! My doctor never said anything and was never concerned. I just ate what sounded good, worked out when I could (I couldn't for very long because I could barely walk the last trimester!) and just enjoyed being pregnant. The good news ... you will loose the weight. Don't let that stress you! I actually have friends that have faced the other way when getting weighed at the OB. :) Not a bad idea ... I may start doing that here pretty soon!! Enjoy that belly!! Congrats!

The Lynchs said...

Bless your heart! What a meanie nurse!!! Your doctor sounds absolutely fantastic for saying those sweet things after you had to deal with her!