I hate the scale...

I had my monthly doctor's visit, today. I'm still having to see the other OBs in the office - before they will let me go back to seeing my doctor. Upon sitting down in the chair in the nurse's office, she informed me that the doctor I was supposed to see today wasn't there. He had to head to the hospital to deliver two babies. So they put me with another doc. But not before putting me on the scale. Ugh.

After stepping on the scale, the nurse informed me that I've already gained more than they recommend for the entire pregnancy. I'm assuming THEY are the nurses because not one doctor has ever mentioned my weight. But EVERY nurse that I've seen has made it the top subject of conversation.

Thanks. Thanks for that.

I started crying. I've gained a total of 27 lbs and I'm 27w4d. I have really tried to do better over the past 4 weeks. Every time I go in, the weight is just more and more. I don't know what to do at this point. She started giving me ideas of what I could do and suggested that if I stick with this, I could come in next month and not have gained a pound. Seriously? I'm in my 3rd trimester. Even if I did stick with her plan, my baby isn't going to grow anymore from here until my due date?

Doubt it.

I refuse to eat salad without dressing and grilled fish for every meal. I refuse to not eat a cookie and have a glass of milk when I want one. It's not as if I'm sitting down, eating a box of twinkies on a daily basis. As a matter of fact, I haven't touched a twinkie in the last 7 months. And I love twinkies!!

She suggested that I walk for exercise and I explained to her that every time I walk for exercise, I bleed. The bleeding scares me. And the last time I bled, it sent me to labor & delivery. This seemed to go in one ear and out the other. She continued to give me suggestions.

By the time I got to a room and the doctor came in, I was a teary-mess. I literally was sweating from head to toe...my bra was soaked. I was sweating behind my knees. I felt terrible. I was so nervous as to what he would say. He could tell something was wrong. I told him what the nurse said about my weight gain and then really started to cry. He was so kind and said, "you don't think another thing about your weight." If he said it once, he said it 15 times in my appointment. I think his kindness made me even more emotional. I had to apologize for my inability to stop crying. He put his arm around me and told me that I am doing nothing that would hurt A. He read my chart and saw what we went through just to get pregnant with her and said, "A is precious to you and she's precious to us." He told me I was already a wonderful mother. Seriously, he was so nice and I couldn't stop crying.

My blood pressure was perfect. A is measuring right on target. Her heart rate was perfect. He suspects that the swelling I have been experiencing is from the heat. He told me to just cut out any extra salt and drink lots of water. He reiterated that at my height and BMI, he's not worried about my weight gain.

I don't know why, but the nurse's comments really got to me. She might as well have called me a fatty and started oinking at me. I came home, went straight to bed and went to sleep. I couldn't stop crying. I hate the scale. It makes me dread every appointment.

Oh, and I get to see the same nurse next time. Since her doctor was out, I was re-scheduled with him again.

Goody.