I'm a stay-at-home Mom and I love it. I'm thankful God has allowed me to be home with our children. I know this is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing and there's peace in that, but one of the things I've been struggling with over the past few months is this little voice in my head. It's saying things like: "Am I doing enough with Amelia?" "Is she bored??" "She needs to be around other children on a regular basis." "Should I put her in MDO??" "What about Little Gym??" "Art classes would be good!!"
Bless Alex's heart, I'm sure he's tired of me talking about these things and he has been so patient with me as I have prayed and talked and talked and prayed and finally realized what God has been trying to tell me in all of this.
I'm a homebody and really enjoy just being here at the house with Amelia. We can go a full week without going anywhere. That's why a tank of gas will last over 2 weeks in my car. I have zero desire to fill up a calendar with social events for my 2 year old. I'm not huge on regular play dates, not that there's anything wrong with them, I just don't like to commit to being at play dates twice a week or even once a week. We have commitments to our church twice a week and she gets to play with other children at that time, but "the voice" came to a point of really getting on my nerves and I needed to take care of it.
I've looked into taking her to The Little Gym or to art classes or to ballet and everything I've looked into tells me she's too young. Three years old seems to be the age all that starts. Little Gym takes younger kiddos but the parent has to be right there and able to run and chase them.
I'm 8 weeks from having a baby - no one wants to see me chasing after my toddler right now.
After reading THIS BLOG, which has been such a blessing to me as a pastor's wife, I realized that there's nothing wrong with spending more time at home. There's nothing wrong with my child not being involved in numerous activities outside of the home. There's nothing wrong with just being still. Being quiet.
God's Word actually encourages it.
I say to Amelia a lot, "be still." I say this because I'm trying to get her to be still long enough for me to speak to her and her actually hear what I'm saying.
I've always said that I have my most meaningful conversations with my Heavenly Father when I'm in the car or in the shower...times that I have to be still. Those quiet moments where Dora the Explorer isn't in the background...Amelia isn't saying, "Mommy, I want jello!"...my phone isn't ringing...my computer isn't in front of my face...and on and on and on.
It's so easy to look at others and feel like I'm not doing enough with my child. I'm not keeping her busy enough. Truth is, I don't want to keep her busy for the sake of saying our calendar is full, or to give myself a certain amount of "free-time" every day. She really needs time with me and her Daddy more than anyone else right now. The next 16-18 years are some important ones and though I do hope to see my little girls in a sweet tutu and ballet shoes someday, bi-weekly play dates, ballet classes, and mothers-day-out are not what will shape my children into what I pray they will be one day.
Young women who can be still.
Young women who can be quiet.
Young women who can hear God and truly KNOW WHO HE IS.
Young women who could care less what the world says is important.
Young women who are sold out for Jesus and make others want what they have in HIM.
That's what I pray over Amelia and Sydney.
And it's my and Alex's job to teach them these things - no one else's.
I have a hard enough time hearing others and being attentive in my relationships above all the noise that every day life brings. I sure can't hear my Heavenly Father if I'm always on the go. If I'm never in His Word. If I'm never still/quiet enough to know exactly what He's telling me to do - telling me what not to do - telling me what to say - telling me what NOT to say.
I love where she says:
"Religion has accepted the monstrous heresy that noise, size, activity, and bluster make a man dear to God. But we may take heart. To a people caught in the tempest of the last great conflict God says, “Be still and know that I am God,” and still He says it, as if He means to tell us that our strength and safety lie not in noise but in silence."
"Life is in the silence because God is there. If we will just listen."
"Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life:
no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."
Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.
I don't ever want to get to a point of constant wishing for more hours in a day because I've filled mine to the max. God knew exactly how many hours I need in my day to accomplish what truly needs to be accomplished.
I'm thankful to say...the voice is gone.
Love to all,