Monday, November 2, 2009

No use crying over spilled breast milk...

I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster some days. I assume this is totally normal. I'm happy, doing well, but there are times that I just start crying. Sometimes I know why. Sometimes I don't. Alex learned a long time ago (3 years of IF treatments helped with this) to just hold me and let me cry. He knows there isn't always a reason. The past few days I've had some moments where I just have to let the flood gates open and then I'm all better.

I am breastfeeding as well as pumping. A has had no problem going from breast to bottle. She's a pro. It's nice because it allows Alex to play a part in feeding her. He has been taking the 4:30am feeding before getting ready for work. It gives them some Daddy/Daughter time and gives me 3 extra hours of sleep. NICE. I love that he wants to help...he's such a good Daddy! I've also been supplementing with formula for a couple of her feedings. They have us doing this to put some weight on her. According to her first doc appointment, it's working. :) I still like to give her breast milk as much as possible though. When I pump, I want to get every drop I can in that bottle. Alex started referring to it as THE PRECIOUS. (LOL) Yesterday I was pumping and I was tired. As I walked into the kitchen to put lids on the milk and put it into the fridge, I spilled an entire container of THE PRECIOUS. Alex walks into the kitchen and I'm bawling, wiping up the milk. The sweet man that he is...holding A in one arm, wraps the other around me. Then he proceeds to say, "baby, in this house there's no use crying over spilled breast milk." (LOL)

I love that man.

We were able to go to church yesterday. I was SO HAPPY to be back. It was weird to be up on that stage during worship - without A in my belly. I remember standing up there many times before getting pregnant, broken-hearted, trying to praise Him through the pain.
~
And then I found out that I was pregnant...He had blessed us with our baby! I loved the thought that A could hear me singing to our Heavenly Father while inside of me.
~
And now she's sitting with us in service...thank you, Father for this precious gift!! It was a special day for us as a family.

A wasn't happy in this pic. Daddy was holding down her hands because she kept putting them in front of her face as soon as the camera would flash. (LOL)


We had a wonderful weekend as a family of three. I'm savoring every moment and looking forward to many more. :)

Love to all,

17 comments:

Mom of 3! said...

Oh my gosh.... I just had flashbacks! I totally cried every time I spilled pumped milk. Thankfully it didn't happen too often, but yes I remember crying like a crazy woman when it did happen.

Cheryl said...

Oh, Jill! I am sorry for the emotional ups and downs. I am glad you have a Wonderful husband who lifts you up! You are a GREAT MOMMY! I need some tips on how you got A to nurse as well as take a bottle. That is my goal and one thing I am pretty nervous about. Hang in there and have a Fabulous week with little miss A! Love the precious family picture!

Heather said...

That milk IS precious...and I would have cried, too. I am so paranoid every time I pour the pumped milk into bags!!! :)
And yes, the emotional roller coaster is totally normal, but not fun. You will be able to get off before too long. Meanwhile just hang in there and keep doing what you are doing...loving sweet A and her Daddy! (God, too!)
Hugs to you, little Mama!!!!

Jesse and Mandy Peterson said...

The emotions are normal, and I know I've freaked out over a few drops of pumped milk, saying, "That alone took me 5 minutes!!!" It all gets better. I'm sure you guys are great parents. And I hope you're taking time in the midst of the sleeplessness and enjoy your baby.

PJ said...

I think I'd cry too!

So happy that your dreams of having a family came true.

Shannon said...

Oh, I'm sorry you spilled it! I remember when Katie was breast feeding Zach she referred to it as GOLD! :)

Faith said...

Oh Jill, it blesses my heart to see this picture of your family of three. I am so thankful that you have your sweet husband to support, help and love you like you need it. What a blessing!

Hope you all have a terrific week!

The Disheroons said...

I know how you feel. When we went on our little weekend getaway I had to pump to not feel uncomfortable. There really wasn't a good way to keep it so I would have to dump it. It felt like pouring gold down the sink. I absolutely hate to pump. I feel like a milk cow. The emotional part will get better soon. Just keep reminding yourself that most things will pass with time.

Molly & John Telford said...

me too! i remember one day pumping and trying to do other things as well (i mean, WHY do they make hands-free if you shouldn't be multi-tasking?)....i was attached (double hands free) and leaning over to put Q in his swing. all of a sudden my dog was under my feet and wouldn't move. i was frustrated trying to maneuver a sleeping newborn into a swing while attached to a breast pump and trying to not trip on the dog. then i realized that while leaning over, all of THE PRECIOUS was spilling. i've never gotten over that. seriously, it was bad! and there has to be a reason for that saying, huh? should be the logo advertising for medela:) love you!

Linda Lou Rogers Averitt said...

I would of cried too!! esp breast milk when your pumping and feeding like crazy!!

well A probably was wondering what had happened when we were singing, hearing me instaed of you, she probably thought what happened???? but she did try to sing too:) she is so sweet and so loved, I was totally blest in getting to hold her all through the service:) I did share at the end, it was hard but knew I needed to share:) hugs and love and cry anytime you can it is good for the soul:)

Mel said...

Breast milk is liquid gold!! It really is. Ah, do I remember the emotional roller coaster. Our husbands are certainly worth TWICE their weight in gold for putting up with us post partum. I cried over everything, it was so silly. It gets so much better, I promise.
*hugs*

Hilary said...

The picture is too cute!
I know how it totally feels to cry over spilling your milk...what a great hubby you have too :)

M said...

I also cried everytime I spilled pumped milk. It is too precious and you want you baby to have every drop! Just remember, you are continously making more, so you will replace what was spilled!

Also, I'd recommend doing your research on supplementing with formula. Not needed and breastmilk contains more fat and will put weight on faster. You can always pump and give a breastmilk bottle after nursing if you want to make sure she takes more.

It's pretty normal for newborns to nurse extremely frequently and it's also important for your milk supply to become established.

Hilary said...

Oh Jill...I totally know what you are talking about. I can remember trying to sing praise songs to our son when he was a newborn. I could not stop crying. I was happy but could not get the words out. All I could do was cry. I also spilled some of my "liquid gold" so I understand that. It will get better! Praying for you guys! Hilary

Stephanie said...

I TOTALLY understand wanting to save every DROP of breastmilk. I just feel as though it takes so much work to get it. I get so frustrated when the milk is wasted because it was spilled or goes bad because he doesn't drink it all before I can refridgerate it again. No worries about crying all the time things get easier, yes me an experienced mother of 8 weeks, yea right. hehe

Paige said...

ha! i understand, the hormones are wild and breast milk is your golden ticket! so impressed you are already out and about- the swine flu/regular flu is CRAZY around here so our pedi suggested we not get out around lots of people for 6 weeks!! we are ready to get out of this house!!

annalee said...

you are not alone!
your family of 3 is just beautiful.