1 Timothy 1:5: "But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith."
Yesterday was one of those days. I felt very defeated by the end of the day.
I honestly felt as if I had run a marathon.
And came in last place.
I had zero energy left by the end of the day.
I sat in the bathtub and cried. And then got out and cried some more.
I was trying to explain to Alex how I felt and all I could get out is, "this is my job...these girls are my job...and I feel like I didn't do a great job at being a mom today." He reminded me that it was just one day. Ya know...that my mom-career isn't over. I get a second chance tomorrow. And the day after that.
I'm new at this Mom thing. I mean, I feel new at it - my girls are 2 years old and 4 months old. I certainly don't feel like I have the whole parenting thing down. I'm sure I never will.
I know how to care for my girls...how to comfort them...how to spend time with them...how to have fun with them...how to put them first. These things come easy to me.
It's the discipline part that I'm learning.
The teaching part.
The part that is going to determine what kind of big people they grow up to be.
Kind of a big deal.
Hebrews 12:11: "All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness."
I certainly don't know how to handle every situation and I find myself overwhelmed some days. I called my Mom last night and she was encouraging as always. She reminded me to laugh because what happened yesterday was serious but at the same time funny. I needed to laugh.
These two girls aren't expecting me to be perfect. They just need me to be consistent. Consistent in love, in my time with them, in discipline, in saying I'm sorry when I'm wrong, etc. Consistency will create the security they need in their lives.
1 John 3:18: "Let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth."
I'm finding myself in prayer a lot these days. I need wisdom. I need patience. And then I need more wisdom and patience. :) God knows my heart. I just love them so much and I don't want to screw them up. (LOL)
Motherhood is the hardest job I've ever had, yet it's the greatest job I've ever had.
I'm thankful for this job. I prayed to have this job for many years. It's a precious gift.
Love to all,