Monday, February 28, 2011

Being the best ME that I can be...

Amelia and I are on the mend. Did I mention that she shared strep with her Mama too? I kiss her face all day long, so really it's my own fault. I started meds immediately after waking up with a throat that was on fire. I seriously don't know how Amelia went a week without medicine...her throat had to be killing her. Poor baby.

Speaking of my baby. I love her. Oh how I love her. Several times over the weekend, I would just look over at her and my heart felt so incredibly full. I feel incredibly blessed to be her mother. She's at an age where we have to correct her a lot. Lots of "no-no", "please don't touch that", "do you want a spankin'?" I've really felt God tug on my heart while correcting Amelia. He has told me to be patient with her. To speak softly to her. To speak to her as I would want to be spoken to. I think it would have broken my heart if my mother had ever yelled at me. I don't remember even one time when she raised her voice. I loved her, respected her, and even had a healthy fear of her discipline. And now I love her, respect her, and admire her greatly for her patience as a mother to 6 children. I know I will make mistakes as a mother, but I really want to show God's love to Amelia. That's my true heart. I want her to see a difference in her Mama and want what I have. I spend more hours in the day with Amelia than Alex. I mean, if she ends up being screwed up - it's probably going to be my fault.


Sort of.

Alex provides for our family by leaving each morning and working outside of the home. I provide for our family by staying home and taking care of Alex's and Amelia's needs. Alex reminds me often that my job is of equal importance. Sometimes as a SAHM, you can feel like you're not "contributing" as much to the family. I don't bring home a paycheck. Though I'd much rather be paid in kisses than dollars any day.

I've struggled with taking care of myself now that I'm a Mom. I looked in the rear view mirror on the way to church yesterday and the huge dark circles under my eyes about made me cry. I've put off my yearly, my 6-month dentist appointment, my weekly chiropractor appointments, working out, getting my hair cut, getting a pedicure/manicure, getting my eyebrows waxed. I could go on and on. I've put myself as lowest priority on my many lists. Alex and I decided over the weekend that I can't continue this way. We've been living on a budget since the beginning of the year. I love it by the way! I never thought I would say that - but it's true. I love being on a budget and Alex being over the finances. It was an area that I needed to submit to my husband many years ago and finally did it. We've decided that we're adding in a babysitting line to the budget. God provided someone to take care of Amelia almost instantly after we talked about it. Two days a week/for a few hours, I get to run my errands, go to the doctor, grocery shop...all while knowing Amelia is being well taken care of in our home. I'm not big on ME TIME, but I am big on taking care of myself. I want to be the best ME that I can be for my family. I think everyone will benefit from this new-added budget line.

So how about you? Are you taking care of yourself?

"Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit." -3 John 1:2

Love to all,


Cuddles and Chaos said...

That is so wonderful that you realize that NOW. It took me a lot longer. I'm still working on it and hoping to have a little help one morning a week this summer to go for a run/walk/etc. It's been harder to find sitters for me, but it will happen.
We are both such blessed ladies to have amazing, supportive husbands and great children. It's so important that they see that mommy is taking care of herself too.
BTW, thanks for sharing what you did on twitter. I couldn't respond to you since you don't follow me. Has the CA19-9 test been done. Email me at keenerfamily at gmail dot come if you don't know what that test is. Praying.

So thankful for you.

Betsy said...

I am so glad you are going to make time for yourself, Jill. You are already a WONDERFUL mom, but that is something that will help you be an even better one! Every woman needs a little time to focus on their health and well being!! Alex is sweet to support you, too. :)

Lauren said...

Oh, Jill, that time for you will probably be the best thing you could ever do for youself!!!! Glad y'all are on the mend!!

Mel said...

Good for you! Being a full time mom is SO MUCH HARDER than I ever in a million years, it is so hard to make time for yourself. And that is simply crucial to being a good individual, wife and mother. Enjoy your time.


Faith said...

You are such an inspiration, girl. I love that you do so much for your family and you definitely need to reward yourself with some "you" time.

Love you!