Today was a hard day and at the same time - a wonderful day.
I'm not going to go into details of the situations, but there have been a couple of things that happened nearing the end of 2010 that burdened my heart. I've laid in bed at night, losing sleep over conversations I've had with loved ones and couldn't figure out why I couldn't just let it go. My motives were pure and I just wanted God's best for the people involved.
After some happenings today - I realized what it was that was keeping me awake every night.
God.
Conviction.
God showed me today that I was guilty of gossiping. I know what the Bible says about being a gossip and I would have nevered labeled myself as one.
Until today.
One of the definitions that I found on gossip: "One who reveals secrets, one who goes about as a talebearer or scandal-monger."
A scandal-mongor.
Ouch.
-A gossiper is one who has privileged info about people and proceeds to reveal that info to those who have no business knowing it.
-Gossipers reveal potentially embarrassing or shameful details regarding the lives of others without their knowledge or approval. Even if they mean no harm, it's still gossip.
I think there are lots of reasons as to why people gossip. I think there is a fine line and we all too often cross it. We make excuses as to why it's okay for us to have the conversation we're having.
I believe gossiping is a form of pride. Of building oneself up.
"He who is of a proud heart stirs up strife, but he who trusts in the Lord will be prospered." -Proverbs 28:25
God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.
The father & king of pride is an adversary. Whenever we witness contention that disrupts unity, where confusion & frustration are being produced, we can be sure that his dominant attitude is infecting the group.
"...a man of understanding holds his tongue."
"...a trustworthy man keeps a secret." -Proverbs 11:12-13
"Those who guard their tongues keep themselves from calamity." -Proverbs 21:23
Calamity: "state of deep distress."
I want to follow God's teachings on gossip and keep my mouth shut unless it's necessary and appropriate to speak. I believe we all too often think that if we're talking to our spouse, family, or our best friend about something...ya know, just "sharing our heart" or "venting" about a situation that it's okay. God doesn't care who we're talking to...gossip is a sin. It's not okay.
I spent this afternoon calling people, asking them to forgive me. Asking them to forgive me for ever partaking in the conversations. Asking them to forgive me for being quick to speak and not keeping my mouth shut. Alex asked me what was wrong when we got home. I honestly felt like a huge burden had been lifted after making those phone calls, but I also still felt the sting of the spanking my Heavenly Father had given me this afternoon. I looked at Alex and said, "I feel like I've been spanked so hard!" And proceeded to burst into tears. I told him what I did and he proceeded to wrap me up in his arms and tell me that he was proud of me.
I meant no harm to those I was talking about, but it was still a sin. I meant no harm to those that I gave my opinion, but I should have kept my mouth shut until God told me to open it.
I know I will sleep soundly tonight. Because I was obedient. I did what He said to do, even though it was so hard. He forced me to humble myself. I think there's a huge difference in saying, "I'm sorry" and in saying, "will you forgive me?" He wouldn't just let me say I'm sorry. I needed to ask for their forgiveness and I needed to ask for His as well.
Alex made the statement in his message on Sunday - "being a believer doesn't mean we live a sinless life, all of us fall from time to time, but believers get back up and move forward because we've been forgiven." The Bible says the "Godly may trip." The point isn't to never fall, the point is we get up!
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith." -Hebrews 12:1-2a
Today I stripped away a sin that has been slowing me down. Gossip. I'm so thankful He loves me enough to correct me when needed.
Love to all,
15 comments:
"Scandal monger" ... ouch indeed! Glad you listened to God and obeyed and got that burden lifted. Awesome! I agree with you that I think it's about pride; about building ourselves up and making us feel more important. We're such hopeless creatures ... without Him. Luvya.
Amen. We're all guilty. Thank you for being transparent...I too will repent. Love you!
Bless your heart for heading the Spirit's prompting. It's something we all are guilty of, but rarely do we feel convicted enough to do what you did today to make it right. :)
Love you, it is never easy being humbled, but God will always use all things to work together for the good for those who are called according to His purpose, so I know He is doing a work in all involved:) love you so much, I know how it feels to make admends and repent, it such a wonderful feeling of grace and mercy!! we all are sinners saved by grace:)
Your post just gave me my "AHA" moment and I feel so blessed to be a reader of your blog! I even quoted Alex on facebook because I was so inspired. Thank you for this post. God makes good out of everything- even if it's just an AHA moment for me.
Thank you for sharing such an intimate life lesson with all of us. This post is filled with sincerity and wisdom. What a great reminder to all of us! I'm as guilty as anyone of commiting this sin. Thank you for sharing what God revealed to you, so it can be also be revealed to me.
man, i was convicted hard of this a few months ago. it is so hard and i still stuggle with it daily. thanks for sharing!
This is such a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your heart and your struggles. I'm sure if we all stopped and checked ourselves we would find we are ALL guilty of this. Love you!
This is beautiful, Jill. I know that your heart has been burdened lately and I have continued to pray for you. I'm so thankful that the burden has been lifted. I know there is such freedom in forgiveness. I just love you and your precious heart so much. Thank you for sharing such truth - it was convicting to me as well.
Jill, such a beautiful and honest post. I think this is all something we should read because safe to say we all struggle in this area!!
So true!! I think you make a really good point as well about not just saying "I'm sorry", but asking for forgiveness. Funny how I just heard this on the radio one morning this week. Maybe there is something I need to be doing about this as well. Like you, I try not to share information where it isn't necessary or my business, but we all fall. Hope you had a night of awesome rest and that today you feel like a weight has been lifted.
you are such a brave woman of God, Jill. I'm guilty of the same thing, i love to talk and that leads me many times to gossip with out even thinking about it. Thanks for sharing and encouraging us to deal with this unpleasing sin!
just exactly what i needed to hear this morning. thank you for sharing and for reminding me to be more cognizant and and thoughtful of my words.
I hope you did sleep soundly! This shows that you have an obedient heart and long to please the Lord and that's wonderful.
I loved this post!! I've been so guilty of this and was so unintentional! Thanks for putting yourself out there so we know we are not alone!!
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