Wednesday, February 26, 2014


I'm sitting in the living room and all I can hear is our kitchen faucet.  It has this constant drip and if you don't turn the handle just right...all you can hear is DRIP...DRIP...DRIP...DRIP...DRIP.

You get the idea. 

It's enough to make you angry.  I mean seriously.  The longer I sit here listening - the more I want to scream.

I immediately thought of the many verses in the Bible that talk about a dripping faucet.   

"...a nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain.  You may inherit all you own from your parents but a sensible wife is a gift from the Lord." -Prov 19:13-14

"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." 
-Prov 21:9

"A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day." -Prov 27:15

"It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman." -Prov 21:19

A sensible wife is a gift from the Lord. 

I sit here listening to that annoying drip in the faucet and think of when I play the role of a nagging wife and I feel sorry for my husband.  

I feel convicted. 

A sensible wife is a gift from the Lord.

So what does it mean to be a nagging wife?  

  • Maybe we vomit every thought and feeling onto our mate without any thought to what's coming out and when he stands there in shock, not knowing how to respond, we can't see why he's unable to carry on a conversation and we just DRIP, DRIP, DRIP.

A sensible wife is a gift from the Lord.

  • Maybe we don't agree with a decision he has made so we harp on it and harp on it and harp on it, hoping that we'll manipulate convince him into changing his mind and we just DRIP, DRIP, DRIP.

A sensible wife is a gift from the Lord.

  • Maybe he said something hurtful and instead of choosing forgiveness, we choose to make him pay and just DRIP, DRIP, DRIP.

A sensible wife is a gift from the Lord.

  • Maybe he wants a day to go fishing or play golf or hang out with friends but we had a different plan for the day, so we pout and just DRIP, DRIP, DRIP.

  • Maybe he dried all of our clothes (in an effort to help with the laundry) and shrunk our favorite blouse and we act as though he just sold our firstborn and we just DRIP, DRIP, DRIP.  

(that last one is totally hypothetical, of course)

A sensible wife is a gift from the Lord. 

So how do I fix the dripping faucet?

Because I can't fix the faucet.  Only God can.  Ask God to change my mind, to renew my mind. When my mind is changed - the heart will follow.  I'm personally, a pretty head strong woman and once I make up my mind - you're going to have a hard time changing it.  That's not necessarily a bad thing. I just need to always make sure my strong-willed self is aligned with God's will.  And His Word is very clear on what He thinks of "nagging woman syndrome."

Romans 12:1-2 says "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is spiritual worship.  Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

Pray for my husband.  He's human - just like me.  He makes mistakes - just like me.  Whether he's right or wrong - he's deserves my respect and submission.  God says so.  I should pray daily for God to give my husband the wisdom and courage he needs to be the leader of our home. (Philippians 1:9-10) 

Pray together.  Not comfortable praying out loud?  Pray silently.  We aren't praying to each other - we're praying to God.  He knows our every thought.

This is something we see as a must in our marriage.  When my first response is to give my spouse the benefit of the doubt and assume he isn't out to hurt me, it's a lot easier to have a respectful conversation and extend forgiveness. (I Corinthians 13:7)

THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK: Is it TRUE? Is it HELPFUL? Is it INSPIRING?  Is it NECESSARY?  Is it KIND?  This is something we teach our children but often need to practice ourselves.  We must tame our tongues.  What comes out of my mouth - reveals my heart.  The Bible says, "Out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks."  (Proverbs 31:26) (Ephesians 4:29)

TAKE OUT THE TRASH: I was once addicted to trash television.  Not something I'm proud of but it's true.  Desperate Housewives, Real Housewives, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice - they all had a place on my DVR.  I could name some more but they're all the same.  They're all trash.  God started convicting me when I had children (as if it mattered any less when I didn't have children) and I started thinking more about what I was watching. I started caring about what I was bringing into our home through the television.  One by one, I started deleting those shows from my DVR. And do you know what?  I don't miss them.  Know something else?  I can't even watch one of those shows now without being offended.  And that's a good thing.  If it offends God - it should offend me!  There is nothing true, good, right, pure, lovely, fine, or praiseworthy about any of those television programs.  Absolutely nothing.  (Philippians 4:8)  God wants me to fix my mind on things above - not on worldly things.  Trashy television and books only feed my flesh - they do nothing to uplift my spirit. The only way I can die to flesh every single day is to take out the trash.  And when I'm not playing the role of a dripping faucet, my husband is a lot more likely to take out the literal trash without being asked. :)

LOSE THE PRIDE - BE HONEST: It's imperative that I'm not only honest with my spouse but honest with myself.  What is my true heart?  What are my true motives? Am I acting out of insecurity or a need to control?  Ask God to shine a light on those dark, hidden places in my heart - acknowledge the sin and repent.  God can see my heart - there's no use lying about it.  And through repentance there's freedom and true intimacy - a wonderful thing!  I should never go to my spouse with ulterior motives or trying to manipulate the situation.  This only causes hurt and distrust in the relationship.  (Jeremiah 16:17) (I Samuel 16:7) 

ENCOURAGE: I'm my husband's biggest fan.  We're best friends.  I want him to know out of everyone in this world - he can always count on me to encourage and not tear him down. (I Thessalonians 5:11)  I want to be the one he comes to to share his heart. I want him to want to come home to me.  I want him to feel a huge weight lifted upon walking through the door every day - because I've made our home a retreat for him. Not a war zone. 

Is your husband heading to the corner of the roof?  Is he retreating to the desert?  

Time to fix that dripping faucet.

"An excellent wife who can find?  She is far more precious than jewels.  The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.  She does him good and not harm, all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:10-12

A sensible wife is a gift from the Lord. 

Love to all,


Anonymous said...

You could, of course, learn to fix the faucet. It's not a man thing. Oh, well, your inspirational words are worth a few faucet drips. Thanks for the reminders of how we need to treat our family members.

Faith said...

Okay, this stepped on my toes just a little, but I sure did need to hear it. So good, so true. Thank you for the conviction, challenge and encouragement that your words gave.